“My brain is full of bullshit but I always try to sort it out into humor.” — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I think humor is such a personal thing, and you put a microphone in somebody's face, they're going to say something that… — Jane Lynch Copy Share Image
“Another note to self; turn cellphone to silent when you’re trying to be sneaky.” — Suzie Ivy Copy Share Image
Religion is indeed the opiate of the masses. Except for Islam, its more like Crystal Meth. — Rock Cowles Copy Share Image
“John Longridge, the cook at Harley-street, had suffered from low spirits for more than thirty years, and he was quick to welcome… — Susanna Clarke Copy Share Image
Nothing says 'I suck at technology,' more than a sideways profile picture. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“What looks good to you?” he asked as if we were out for ice cream. Rocky road or pistachio? Like my Corvette… — Leesa Freeman Copy Share Image
“Leila. Schoolgirls are like sports cars. They're nice to look at, but they're impractical. In the end, they don't do what you… — Lucy V. Morgan Copy Share Image
“The whole of the realm denies it, brother," said Renly. "Old men deny it with their death rattle, and unborn children deny… — George R.R Martin Copy Share Image
Being a humorist is not a voluntary thing. You can tell this because in a situation where saying a funny thing will… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
“Given his personality, I’d say exorcism makes perfect sense as a favored pastime.” — Nicki Elson Copy Share Image
“Baboons, I observed. One with a big gun and the other with a big mouth, and both with alpha-sized, flaming pink asses.” — A.J. Aalto Copy Share Image
“Phury was the only other possibility, but he was a celibate with a broken frickin' heart. Not really man-whore material.” — J.R. Ward Copy Share Image
I did not intend to write a funny book, at first. I did not know I was a humorist. I have never… — Jerome K. Jerome Copy Share Image
Parker's grand slam is the same as going 4 for 4, even though he went 1 for 4. — Jerry Coleman Copy Share Image
“He's got this thing about Canada. He says it's like America only with health care and no guns, and you can live… — Ruth Ozeki Copy Share Image
“Another field agent raised his hand. "I guess I've slacked off a bit because it seems no matter how many citations we… — Hog Heaven Copy Share Image
Laughter rarely lasts longer than a few seconds, it's true. But how enjoyable those few seconds are. — David Levithan Copy Share Image
“Great. The part of the lovable dog will be played by Cody the Wolf. - Cody Forester, Werewolf Asylum” — Roxanne Smolen Copy Share Image
