I started out making fun of comedy. Then I became the thing I was making fun of. — Bobcat Goldthwait Copy Share Image
One time I stayed at a haunted motel. When I checked into my room, there was a sheet on the floor, and… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
“A misunderstanding?" Elizabeth echoed. "With an anvil?" "Oh, stop," Harriet admonished her. "I think he looks very dashing." "As if he dashed… — Julia Quinn Copy Share Image
“Trin Tragula—for that was his name—was a dreamer, a thinker, a speculative philosopher or, as his wife would have it, an idiot.”… — Douglas Adams Copy Share Image
I don't know, maybe Australian humour isn't supposed to be funny. It's as dry as the Sahara, and I think people miss… — Nick Cave Copy Share Image
For every hour a mother gets to herself, a father will demand five times that amount for drinking with friends and acting… — Drew Magary Copy Share Image
My mother taught me what it is to have a sense of humour; my dad, who was a headmaster, everything you need… — James Nesbitt Copy Share Image
“She wears those old fashioned pj's like body armour. Going to bed these days is like wresting with Kevlar.” — Poppet Copy Share Image
I got my passport aplications sent back. Apparantly then question place of birth? Between my mother's legs isn't acceptable. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“The most powerful sex organ was the brain, you know what that means Poor Justin!” — Sarah Strohmeyer Copy Share Image
Sex is pretty funny, let's face it. And the more seriously we take ourselves, the funnier sex gets, I think. — Betty White Copy Share Image
I love watching audiences scream. I imagine it's the same joy that a director feels who has made a comedy when he… — Leigh Whannell Copy Share Image
It takes something to get married: nerve, hope, a strong desire to make a certain statement - and it takes something to… — Amy Bloom Copy Share Image
“Things I will never like: 1. Drying off with a cold, damp towel. 2. The feeling of seaweed wrapping around my legs.… — Bill Watterson Copy Share Image
“My mother was, for the most part, delighted with my brother and regarded him with the bemused curiosity of a brood hen… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“Modern party-dance is simply writhing to suggestive music. It is ridiculous, silly to watch and excruciatingly embarrassing to perform. It is ridiculous,… — David Foster Wallace Copy Share Image
“The lord giveth and most women piss it away. Perhaps this is why they lack the equipment to aim.” — paula wall Copy Share Image
“Not again, Draper," Frank sighed. "You're not going to stop us from crossing. You and I know that the one thing the… — Randy Quarles Copy Share Image
It needs to be said that sometimes my mom forgets important details when she talks. Like the time she told us she… — Bill Konigsberg Copy Share Image
“My Corolla, sorry to report, was mortally wounded in the attack. There were no funeral plans at this time.” — Heather Webber Copy Share Image
