“Awesome,” I whispered. “Zombie schlong. Just the thing to start my day.” — A.J. Aalto Zombie Copy Share Image
“You've got thirty minutes,” she shouted. “Or I make you sorry you ever entered the circuit!” — A.J. Aalto Thirty Copy Share Image
“When someone says “jump”, Marnie Baranuik is more liable to kick them in the yambag than ask “how high?” — A.J. Aalto Jump Copy Share Image
“Batten was a dark hunk of manly perfection sent to torture womankind with unfulfilled erotic daydreams and sexual frustration.” — A.J. Aalto Copy Share Image
“Just my luck; finally offered free, weird sex and it was by a freaky-ass priest. Dude wanted to save me… with dick.… — A.J. Aalto Dick Joke Copy Share Image
“I was about to be handled with all the determination of a Hollywood dermatologist on a starlet's rash.” — A.J. Aalto Acne Copy Share Image
“I am the icy push of immortality through your veins. I am the grave-wrought hand around your heart. I am the cold… — A.J. Aalto Cold wind Copy Share Image
“So why not tell him that the original revenant, the progenitor of undeath, was a fallen angel who had flanked Satan in… — A.J. Aalto Fallen angel Copy Share Image
“I took a bracing sip of espresso and pictured Batten prancing out in the snow wearing nothing but a sport sock, trilling… — A.J. Aalto Tiny Tim Copy Share Image
“I am not a morning person by any stretch of the imagination. Any time before eight A.M., no amount of birds chirping,… — A.J. Aalto Birds chirping Copy Share Image
“Look, I'm sick. It's early. Don't tick me off or I'll toss your salad.” He stopped short, and I could tell he… — A.J. Aalto Phrase Copy Share Image
“Sharing pain with someone isn't something to take lightly. Every month, Chapel sent me chocolates for my PMS cravings, and I took… — A.J. Aalto Pain Copy Share Image
“If I was going to die on a dark and stormy night at the hands of an undead pervert and his horse-cocked… — A.J. Aalto Horror movie Copy Share Image
“it made me want to bust his kneecaps and then ride his body once it hit the floor.” — A.J. Aalto Body Hit Copy Share Image
“What are you, a James Bond villain?” I said. “The least-hot Bond girl ever? Pussy NoMore?” — A.J. Aalto Bond girl Copy Share Image
“The aroma of him this close was astonishingly bad, spoiled meat and rampant disease, ripe cheese and anal leakage.” — A.J. Aalto Copy Share Image
“Bad dreams are rehearsals for the struggle to survive; they exist to prepare us in the waking world.” — A.J. Aalto Bad dream Copy Share Image
“I felt woozy, like I'd gorged myself on pleasure, an orgasm OD. Could a girl die from that? Deadly delirium?” — A.J. Aalto Felt Woozy Copy Share Image
“I have been sexually assaulted by a madwoman, agent. She hit my head on the ground and forced my face against her… — A.J. Aalto Assaulted Copy Share Image
“Baboons, I observed. One with a big gun and the other with a big mouth, and both with alpha-sized, flaming pink asses.” — A.J. Aalto Big mouth Copy Share Image
“Even after Fat Dracula’s liposuction, his weight had ballooned right back up, because he refused to give up bacon double cheese burgers.… — A.J. Aalto Double Cheeseburger Copy Share Image
“My imagination tripped up the stairs to where Batten was still in bed, crept in under the door and slipped under the… — A.J. Aalto Hot guys Copy Share Image
“We have to think like Kill-Notch,” I told Declan, strutting back to the Kawasaki. “How do we do that?” he asked. “Pretend… — A.J. Aalto Think Copy Share Image
“Have we met?” I asked. “Because I don't recognize you at all.” “Then by all means, allow me to introduce myself,” Harry… — A.J. Aalto Cold wind Copy Share Image
