All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
I learned the importance of a man's chair early in life. I learned that he may love several wives, embrace several cars,… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
No baby shall at any time be quartered in a house where there are no soft laps, no laughter, or no love. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
House guests should be regarded as perishables: Leave them out too long and they go bad. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
...I remember thinking how often we look, but never see...we listen, but never hear...we exist, but never feel. We take our relationships… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Do you know what you call those who use towels and never wash them, eat meals and never do the dishes, sit… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
I don't know why no one ever thought to paste a label on the toilet-tissue spindle giving 1-2-3 directions for replacing the… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
He opened the jar of pickles when no one else could. He was the only one in the house who wasn't afraid… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Cleaning the house while the children are home is like shoveling while it's still snowing. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
I was a closet pacifier advocate. So were most of my friends. Unknown to our mothers, we owned thirty or forty of… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July 4, not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
To my way of thinking, the American family started to decline when parents began to communicate with their children. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
The woman who says, 'My kids are all speaking to one another and they love us' is a psychopathic liar. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
To say, "Well, I write when I really get into it" is a bunch of bull. Put the paper in the typewriter, stare at… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Just think of all those women on the Titanic who said, 'No thank you' to desert that night. And for what?! — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
The mole rat is the only rodent born without a fur coat. With a good lawyer, someone would pay for that little oversight. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Making coffee has become the great compromise of the decade. It's the only thing "real" men do that doesn't seem to threaten their masculinity.… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
