“ Bride , n. - A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.” — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Happiness: an agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
SATIETY, n. The feeling that one has for the plate after he has eaten its contents, madam. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Happiness has not to all the same name: to Youth she is known as the Future; Age knows her as the Dream. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
It has been observed that one's nose is never so happy as when thrust into the affairs of others from which some… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
FAMOUS, adj. Conspicuously miserable. Done to a turn on the iron, behold Him who to be famous aspired. Content? Well, his grill… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
A revolution, in politics, is an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment. The substitution of the rule of an administration for… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
KISS, n. A word invented by the poets as a rhyme for "bliss." It is supposed to signify, in a general way,… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Worms'-Meat, n. The finished product of which we are the raw material. The contents of the Taj Mahal, the Tombeau Napoleon and… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
“When he had ended, the holy hermit was a moment silent, then said: "My son, I have attended to thy story and… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
The future is that period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true, and our happiness is assured. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
OBSESSED, p.p. Vexed by an evil spirit, like the Gadarene swine and other critics. Obsession was once more common than it is now. Arasthus… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
DECIDE, v.i. To succumb to the preponderance of one set of influences over another set. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
IMMORAL, adj. Inexpedient. Whatever in the long run and with regard to the greater number of instances men find to be generally inexpedient comes… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
REVIEW, v.t. To set your wisdom (holding not a doubt of it./ Although in truth there's neither bone nor skin to it)/ At work… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
CLOCK, n. A machine of great moral value to man, allaying his concern for the future by reminding him what a lot of time… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RUBBISH, n. Worthless matter, such as the religions, philosophies, literatures, arts and sciences of the tribes infesting the regions lying due south from Boreaplas. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
There was never a genius who was not thought a fool until he disclosed himself; whereas he is a fool then only. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
WHANGDEPOOTENAWAH, n. In the Ojibwa tongue, disaster; an unexpected affliction that strikes hard. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RIDICULE, n. Words designed to show that the person of whom they are uttered is devoid of the dignity of character distinguishing him who… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
