When you hear people speak in another language: 6% I wish I could speak that. 94% Those bitches better not be talking about me... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Even 'The Inevitability of Death' is kind of a funny song more than anything. I mean, I thought it would be funny… — Gord Downie Copy Share Image
I want people to have learned from me. When you watch movies that we grew up on, they teach you life lessons… — Jason Mitchell Copy Share Image
You always regret setting ur phone on 'silent ' once you have misplaced it! — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
The funny thing in France is that writers are not allowed to retire, because the French government say you are still earning… — Peter Mayle Copy Share Image
What's the trick to writing a genuinely funny comedy? The trick is therapy. Take notes. — Lake Bell Copy Share Image
If I find something funny and make an older woman laugh, I love that for some reason. — Nathan Fielder Copy Share Image
If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age. — George Burns Copy Share Image
Well, when you're playing good football, it's good football and if you don't have good football, then you're not really playing good… — John Madden Copy Share Image
Here's to a Rosh Hashanah we'll never forget since it'll be permanently documented in our Facebook Timelines. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That woman in the shampoo commercial - she's happy. She's... she's too happy. — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
“When Johnny Depp saw it, he was so excited he fluffed up to twice his normal size.” — Diane Messidoro Copy Share Image
Live authentically. Live your truth. And if you love me for anything, love me because I live mine. — Neale Donald Walsch Copy Share Image
Just telling the facts are no longer enough. You now have to be persuasive, charismatic, interesting, and funny. Just telling people things… — Milo Yiannopoulos Copy Share Image
It's curtains for you, Mighty Mouse! This gun is so futuristic that even I don't know how it works! — Ralph Bakshi Copy Share Image
Rock Hudson. He was an absolute human being. Charming, funny, real. — Glenda Jackson Copy Share Image
