Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart. — Caryn Leschen Copy Share Image
If you wanna find out 101 things to do with plums, heh, read your in-flight magazine. — David Cross Copy Share Image
“I remember that story. You have read it four times." Samson shrugged. "Why should I stop with the first reading? Nobody says,… — Karen A. Wyle Copy Share Image
“I saved you,” Andersen said at last, slowly but firmly, like Pat was an idiot child who had to be reminded of… — Alex Gabriel Copy Share Image
Dear McDonald's, don't give me that look. There's no age limit on a happy meal. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When people think of me, I want them to think of a travel show host who's really funny and good at his… — Zach Anner Copy Share Image
So my mum bought a jacuzzi, and I was in there along with my father and my sister, when my mother decided… — Russell Howard Copy Share Image
“Hi's nose was pressed to his window. “I've changed my mind, Tory. This is the perfect place to hold someone prisoner. I'm… — Kathy Reichs Copy Share Image
“It's alright" said a dreamy voice from beside Harry as Ron vanished into the coach's dark interior. "You're not going mad or… — J.K. Rowling Copy Share Image
It is a base thing for the countenance to be obedient and to regulate and compose itself as the mind commands, and… — Marcus Aurelius Copy Share Image
My dad was a doctor, and he would tell us a lot of nasty, funny stories from the hospital. It was funny… — Ali Wong Copy Share Image
I was in my friends garage, and he had; a kite, a yo-yo, and a boomerang. I was like "Dude, you have… — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
The awkward moment you think your clever enough to turn the volume up by the button on the side of the telly… — Holly Fitzgerald Copy Share Image
I have a very bad relationship with the future. We don't get on. We just ignore each other. — Pete Doherty Copy Share Image
