Fart Quotes · Page 7

I have a pacemaker in, but it doesn't work very well, because every time I fart the garage door opens.

— Frank Carson

Your friends are at the house.' I sit up, straight. 'Who'? 'I don't know. Weird people. The Sullivan girl, whose father got…

— Melina Marchetta

The rest of the guys in Sabbath became boring old farts, and there I was, this crazy guy, still into wrecking hotel…

— Ozzy Osbourne

At my age, you sort of fart your way into a role.

— Donald Sutherland

A dog is not intelligent. Never trust an animal that's surprised by it's own farts

— Frank Skinner

I want to become so successful that if I wanna fart on a track, I can, and it will sell.

— Tulisa

Every time there's a cut in the action, we joke and dance around, there's show tunes and fart noises.

— Darby Stanchfield

I'm not sure if I'm an introvert or extrovert. I love being around people, but sometimes I do need to go off…

— Joe Lycett

You never want to look like an old fart doing young rap music.

— DJ Quik

I want to do it too!" (sitting motionless) Nudge: "Nope, you stand out like a fart in a church." Max: (muttering) "Appropriately…

— James Patterson

If I want to keep working as an actor, I'm going to become a comedian who does fart jokes.

— Peter Sarsgaard

A person who discreetly farts in an elevator is not a divine being, and a man needs to know this.

— Robert Bly

I wouldn't fart in front of my wife, and she wouldn't do it in front of me.

— Harry Redknapp

If the game is run properly as a professional game, you do not need 57 old farts running rugby.

— Will Carling

I fart. My backstage ritual is flatulence.

— Summer Walker

I thought the fart was a human thing. It's something to do with like, arse cheeks, or whatever.

— Karl Pilkington

For me, I need to be able to show up on set and fart around and goof around. If I can have…

— Betsy Brandt

My philosophy of dating is to just fart right away.

— Jenny McCarthy

You get older and come to the conclusion that it's a great gig making music. Even if you turn into an old…

— Dolores O'Riordan

Verbal contracts are about as useful as a fart on a treadmill.

— Robert Rinder

I burp, I fart. I'm a real woman.

— Kate Winslet

The devaluation of music and what it's now deemed to be worth is laughable to me. My single costs 99 cents. That's…

— Vince Gill

Right now, the old guys, the old farts, if you will, are still running the show, and the women haven't gotten their…

— Chris Matthews

And now to sleep, to dream...perchance to fart.

— Anthony Bourdain

I'm a fart in a gale of wind, a humble violet under a cow pat.

— Djuna Barnes