Speed eliminates all doubt. Am I smart enough? Will people like me? Do I really look all right in this plastic jumpsuit? — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
but I have no mind for business and considered staying awake to be enough of an accomplishment. — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
The woman in charge of costuming assigned us our outfits and gave us a lecture on keeping things clean. She held up… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
I'm so old that when I started keeping a diary they were in actual books, and I think that's one the reasons… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
I was the type of person who was the question-asker. And not just genuine questions, I would ask a question so the… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
My hands tend to be full enough dealing with people who hate me for who I am. Concentrate too hard on the… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
Given enough time, I guess anything can look good. All it has to do is survive. — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
When forced to leave my house for an extended period of time, I take my typewriter with me, and together we endure… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“Plenty of animals had pets, but few were more devoted than the mouse, who owned a baby corn snake—“A rescue snake, she’d be quick… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“never fall asleep in a Dumpster, never underestimate a bee, never drive a convertible behind a flatbed truck, never get old, never get drunk… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“It was a father, one hand resting teapot-style on his hip, and the other - what would be the spout - formed into a… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“A Japanese woman we’d met in Paris came to the apartment yesterday and spent several hours explaining our appliances. The microwave, the water kettle,… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
One thing I like about the United States, and I kind of miss about the United States, is there's an election coming up here… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
When you read comic material and people aren't laughing how do you know they're listening. — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“You have how many children in your family?" the teacher would ask. "I'm guessing you must be Catholic, am I right?” — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“Like most seasoned phonies, I roundly suspect that everyone is as disingenuous as I am.” — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
As a child I assumed that when I reached adulthood, I would have grown-up thoughts. — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“You just take and take don´t you? Out there with your thumb in the air—not a care in the world, just grabbing whatever you… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
In other parts of the country people tried to stay together for the sake of the children. In New York they tried to work… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
My boyfriend got me a computer three years ago. I'll admit it does make things a lot easier. When I was working on a… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
