“What a place! What a situation! What kind of man would put a known criminal in charge of a major branch of… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
Racism was not a problem on the Discworld, because - what with trolls and dwarfs and so on - speciesism was more… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“An education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever," he said. "Have you thought of going into teaching? — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Colon looked awkward, as if the bunched underwear of the past was tangling itself in the crotch of recollection.” — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
What's the good of having mastery over cosmic balance and knowing the secrets of fate if you can't blow something up? — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“There had been a time when the continents were different, Rincewind understood, and then they'd sort of shuffled more comfortably together like… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“You're not suggesting that Vetinari tucks into a nice rat every day?" said Angua. "I've heard he uses rats as spies, so… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“The gods of the Disc have never bothered much about judging the souls of the dead, and so people only go to… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
You can't map a sense of humor. Anyway, what is a fantasy map but a space beyond which There Be Dragons? On… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
God moves in extremely mysterious, not to say, circuitous ways. God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Look down, your grace," said Skimmer. "Mhm, mhm." Vimes realized he could feel the faintest prick of a knife blade on his… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Vimes was already lost. Oh, there was the sun, but that was just a direction . He could feel it on the… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“He sat back and drank the really horrible tea the dwarfs made. Just for a moment there was an unusual feeling on… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“A dwarf who can't get the hang of metal? That must be pretty unique." "Pretty rare, sir. But I was quite good… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Someone broke from the scrum and, punching and kicking, staggered towards the Klatchian goal. "Isn't that man your butler?" said Ahmed. "Yes."… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“When they arrived they would briefly and passionately mate, for the first and only time, and from that fiery union new turtles… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
The Chain Letter to the Ephebians. Forget Your Gods. Be Subjugated. Learn to Fear. Do not break the chain -- the last… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
'Discworld' is taking something that you know is ridiculous and treating it as if it is serious, to see if something interesting… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
Asking someone to repeat a phrase you'd not only heard very clearly but were also exceedingly angry about was around Defcon II… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“In fact, the mere act of opening the box will determine the state of the cat, although in this case there were… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Men marched away, Vimes. And men marched back. How glorious the battles would have been that they never had to fight!” — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Just because someone's a member of an ethnic minority doesn't mean they're not a nasty small-minded little jerk.” — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“You couldn't be a real copper in Ankh-Morpork and stay sane. You had to care . Anda caring in Ankh-Morpork was like… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“He had died for his beliefs; chief among them was the very Hugglestonian one that bravery could replace armour, and that Klatchians… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“On nights such as this, witches are abroad. Well, not actually abroad. They don't like the food and you can't trust the… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Are you staying with us? It could be dangerous,' said William, realizing that he was saying this to a vampire iconographer who… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“There was a steady drizzle when they left for the tower. Moist drove the cart, with the others sitting on the load… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
The thing is, 'Discworld' had been going on for a very long time, and I've written children's books as well. Usually when… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Er, why do you need to work in a dark room, though?" he said. "The imps don't need it, do they?" "Ah,… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Take it from me, whenever you see a bunch of buggers puttering around talking about truth and beauty and the best way… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“There was a hell for blasphemers. There was a hell for disputers of rightful authority. There were a number of hells for… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“A camel in distress isn’t a shy creature. It doesn’t hang around in bars, nursing a solitary drink. It doesn’t phone up… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Mr Vimes," said Mrs Winkings, "ve cannot help but notice that you still haf not employed any of our members in the… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Good evening, gentlemen!' said the vampire. 'Please pay attention. I am a reformed vampire, which is to say, I am a bundle… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Many things went on at Unseen University and, regrettably, teaching had to be one of them. The faculty had long ago confronted… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Several times he had to flatten himself against the shelves as a thesaurus thundered by. He waited patiently as a herd of… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“I shall fear not. According to the Testament of Mezerek, the fisherman Nonpo spent four days in the belly of a giant… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“ The tincture of night began to diffuse the soup of the afternoon. Lord Vetinari considered the sentence, and found it good.… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“There are eight levels of wizardry on the Disc; after sixteen years Rincewind has failed to achieve even level one. In fact… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“This one’s mental.’ ‘Eccentric.’ ‘What’s the difference?’ ‘A bag of cash.” — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“But I did not return until half past four this morning and I distinctly remember stubbing my toe on the stairs. I am as… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“The universe contains any amount of horrible ways to be woken up, such as the noise of the mob breaking down the front door,… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Someone broke from the scrum and, punching and kicking, staggered towards the Klatchian goal. "Isn't that man your butler?" said Ahmed. "Yes." "One of… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
It's an interesting fact that fewer than 17 % of Real cats end their lives with the same name they started with. Much family… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
Either dragons should exist completely or fail to exist at all, he felt. A dragon only half-existing was worse than the extremes. — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Magrat wondered what it was like, spending your whole life doing something you didn’t want to do. Like being dead, she considered, only worse,… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
A hardback's harder at Christmas time because that's a good hardback buying time. — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“There were more old people. The world was full of them,' said the wizard. 'Yes, I know. And now it's full of young people.… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Hobson was big and heavyset, but not exactly fat; he was probably what you’d get if you shaved a bear.” — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“There is a night that never comes to an end… The clock of the world turns under its own shadow. Midnight is a moving… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“You'd like Freedom, Truth, and Justice, wouldn't you, Comrade Sergeant?' said Reg encouragingly. 'I'd like a hard-boiled egg,' said Vimes, shaking the match out.… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“You are not apprehensive, are you? I can't detect no trace of fear none whatsoever Roomy cranium all possible videos of all possible outcomes… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
