My mum is in a mental hospital. There's a fine line between genius and insanity. Winston Churchill, Mozart, John Lennon. These people… — Christopher Titus Copy Share Image
To be successful in life, there are many hurdles you have to get over. For me, the biggest hurdle to success has… — Christopher Titus Copy Share Image
Dad is a new person. A person who has learned that forgiveness is better then revenge. Next year, we'll teach him that… — Christopher Titus Copy Share Image
I can't stop some idiot from crashing into a building or blowing up a bus, I can only be your dad and… — Christopher Titus Copy Share Image
I swore I would never get involved in my dad's life. But then he started blowing it. So I had to get… — Christopher Titus Copy Share Image
My dad invented road rage. He wasn't the first guy to get mad in the car, but he was first guy to… — Christopher Titus Copy Share Image
Normal people, want to be accepted. Screwed up people, want to be accepted. It's one of the few things we have in… — Christopher Titus Copy Share Image
Of course, here's the weird part. After I fought my dad, all of a sudden we're buddies now. Like he's my friend… — Christopher Titus Copy Share Image
Denial is a powerful weapon. My dad taught me mind over matter. No matter how hurt I got, he didn't mind. — Christopher Titus Copy Share Image
Socrates said, the unexamined life is not worth living. My dad said, Booty - mmm mmm. — Christopher Titus Copy Share Image
My dad don't like lies. He says it hurts people in the long race. He prefers the truth. That hurts them instantly. — Christopher Titus Copy Share Image
Every weekend, I would get the drunk driving lecture. Of course, Dad drank and drove all the time. I guess it wasn't… — Christopher Titus Copy Share Image
A salamander can grow a new tail in three weeks. My dad can score new tail in three minutes. — Christopher Titus Copy Share Image
My parents got divorced. Early and ugly. My mum was nuts so I lived with my dad. We used to play a… — Christopher Titus Copy Share Image
If you want something bad enough, you've got to make a bold move. Just make sure you clear the bold move with… — Christopher Titus Copy Share Image
They had a big court battle over who got to keep me. Mom won; she made me live with Dad. — Christopher Titus Copy Share Image
My father, never chooses me for anything. Unless he needs a human shield. Thirty years and all I am to him is… — Christopher Titus Copy Share Image
Growing up, road trips with Dad were something I hated. Sitting still for hours, singing that stupid song, "100 bottles of beer… — Christopher Titus Copy Share Image
My father thrives on fear. You know that prayer If I should die before I wake? I had sheets that said that! — Christopher Titus Copy Share Image
Ladies, if you're at the mall and you think your man is looking at other girls just remember: If your man is at the… — Christopher Titus Copy Share Image
I find that Americans are all in the middle somewhere, except for the extreme nuts, and extreme nuts on both sides are the loudest.… — Christopher Titus Copy Share Image
My father? A hard drinking man from the 70's. We actually have no pictures of my dad where he is not holding a beer.… — Christopher Titus Copy Share Image
Everybody I've ever met was destroyed by a member of the opposite sex early on and that damage you took into every relationship after… — Christopher Titus Copy Share Image
Psychiatrist are like mind hookers. Give them 200 dollars and they just screw with your head. — Christopher Titus Copy Share Image
All of Dad's relationships ended exactly the same: subpoena, beep of a moving van backing up the driveway, pile of his clothes burning on… — Christopher Titus Copy Share Image
Texas is a hell hole, man. Dirt, cactus, lizards, dirt, cactus, the Bush family. — Christopher Titus Copy Share Image
Sometimes failure makes your future because you set the past on fire. — Christopher Titus Copy Share Image
When you are a screwed up person, you have a responsibility to keep your normal friends from getting walked on. 'Cos, how bad could… — Christopher Titus Copy Share Image
If you're a racist, right now, in 2011... You just look like a retard, man. — Christopher Titus Copy Share Image
Why should I learn English? I'm never going to England. Shah, pffff, ur, doy. — Christopher Titus Copy Share Image
