You learn a lot though when you have kids, I'll tell you what. Did you know when a baby poops its diapers,… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
When you're doing comedy, it is so subjective. What is funny to you is not funny to another person. What is dirty… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
I have a basic theorem as to how I do my jokes. Growing up, I knew when to cross the line and… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
MY ACT IS 'NOTHING BUT COMEDY. I TALK SOUTHERN BECAUSE I PICKED IT UP WHEN I MOVED TO THE SOUTH. IM NOT… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
THE FACT THAT MY DAD IS A PREACHER HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYTHING. HE PROBABLY WOULDN'T AGREE WITH SOME OF MY… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
Bought a pair of boots the other day, and they was some silicone gel in there. Big red letters said, "Do not… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
I follow the baseball team on the Internet more than I do the football team. Generally you can get a Nebraska game… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
I LOVE THE COMEDY CLUBS AND THE CLOSENESS OF THE CROWD. HOWEVER THE MORE YA DO THE BIG ROOMS THEY START TO… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
You learn a lot though when you have kids, I'll tell you what. Did you know when a baby poops its diapers, you're not… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
When you're doing comedy, it is so subjective. What is funny to you is not funny to another person. What is dirty to you… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
People always ask my mom what I did as a kid. My mom says, "He wasn't a bad kid. He was never an unruly… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
There's the old joke, "What's the difference between country and redneck? Well, that's three hundred dollars." — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
I had a buddy of mine call up the other day, all upset 'cause he slept with his third cousin. And I'm like, Man,… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
I've been down in Florida since 1979. When you're born in Nebraska you really can't explain it. — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
I've been fortunate, I've been blessed, and I attribute my success to all my fans. People want to do things with you when you… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
As a comedian, I don't know if they're laughing because it's funny or if they're laughing at me because I'm not funny. And I'm… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
I LOVE WAL-MART. I CONSIDER MY JOKES TO BE VERY JEUVINILLE. STUFF A 14 YEAR OLD WOULD LAUGH AT BECAUSE THATS THE SENCE OF… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
I was born and raised in Pawnee City, Nebraska. I lived right next to the sale barn and I raised pigs. My dad was… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
What I do onstage, there's maybe .0001 percent of the population that acts like that. I talk like that because it makes me laugh,… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
I was scared into being good. But I'm sure I did regular kid stuff. — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
