As a comedian, I don't know if they're laughing because it's funny or if they're laughing at me because I'm not funny.… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
What a piece of garbage this smart car is. There's a commercial - the smart car has zero percent interest for six… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
I've always felt that if you've been blessed, you should try to help as many people as you can. I just think… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
Doing a kid's movie is fun when you have kids. You don't want to do kids' movies if you don't have kids.… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
Tony Orlando is one of the nicest guys I have ever met - bar none - in my entire life. I was… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
Even before I did stand-up, I've always been the kind of guy - and I talk about it on stage - who… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
When Pixar calls and says, 'Hey, you wanna be in a Pixar movie?' you don't do a lot of contemplating! — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
The thing that's changed the way I do my stand-up act is having kids and getting older and wiser and smarter. There… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
One of my little girls is named Reagan. Her first words were, 'Mr. Larry, tear down this crib.' That was her first… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
I love food: biscuits and gravy, cheese grits, spaghetti and meatballs, chicken-fried steak with white gravy... but my favorite dish is my… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
You learn a lot though when you have kids, I'll tell you what. Did you know when a baby poops its diapers, you're not… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
When you're doing comedy, it is so subjective. What is funny to you is not funny to another person. What is dirty to you… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
People always ask my mom what I did as a kid. My mom says, "He wasn't a bad kid. He was never an unruly… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
There's the old joke, "What's the difference between country and redneck? Well, that's three hundred dollars." — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
I had a buddy of mine call up the other day, all upset 'cause he slept with his third cousin. And I'm like, Man,… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
I've been down in Florida since 1979. When you're born in Nebraska you really can't explain it. — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
I've been fortunate, I've been blessed, and I attribute my success to all my fans. People want to do things with you when you… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
As a comedian, I don't know if they're laughing because it's funny or if they're laughing at me because I'm not funny. And I'm… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
I LOVE WAL-MART. I CONSIDER MY JOKES TO BE VERY JEUVINILLE. STUFF A 14 YEAR OLD WOULD LAUGH AT BECAUSE THATS THE SENCE OF… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
I was born and raised in Pawnee City, Nebraska. I lived right next to the sale barn and I raised pigs. My dad was… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
What I do onstage, there's maybe .0001 percent of the population that acts like that. I talk like that because it makes me laugh,… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
I was scared into being good. But I'm sure I did regular kid stuff. — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
