If guns kill people, I can blame misspelled words on my pencil. — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
I get so sick and tired of Wikipedia. People write their own crap on there. — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
Guns don't kill people, husbands who come home early from work kill people — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
Blaming guns for killing people is like blaming pencils for bad spelling — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
I don't take myself too seriously. I enjoy what I do. I enjoy making people laugh. — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
People always ask my mom what I did as a kid. My mom says, "He wasn't a bad kid. He was never… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
I don't judge people by their accent, or how they word things, or how grammatically correct their speech is. Some of the… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
I've always felt that if you've been blessed, you should try to help as many people as you can. I just think… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
I've been fortunate, I've been blessed, and I attribute my success to all my fans. People want to do things with you… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
Even before I did stand-up, I've always been the kind of guy - and I talk about it on stage - who… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
I don't do my show for critics. Early on I did, because I'm a nice guy and I like to be liked… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
What I do onstage, there's maybe .0001 percent of the population that acts like that. I talk like that because it makes… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
Even after the Super Bowl victory of the New Orleans Saints, I have noticed a large number of people implying, with bad… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
I don't really get to see a lot of other comedians, because I work with the same people all the time. The… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
MY ACT IS 'NOTHING BUT COMEDY. I TALK SOUTHERN BECAUSE I PICKED IT UP WHEN I MOVED TO THE SOUTH. IM NOT… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
Sanford is a little redneck town north of Orlando. It's right off Lake Jessup.Lake Jessup is the most alligator infested lake in… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
I don't know why people get so bent out of shape over stuff people say. — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
I THINK ITS COOL THAT OTHER CROWDS LIKE WHAT I DO. HOWEVER IVE ALWAYS HAD A GOOD MIX OF PEOPLE AT MY… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
It's nice if people can finally loosen up a little bit and just go out laugh at silliness. I mean, people take… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
Its nice if people can finally loosen up a little bit and just go out laugh at silliness. I mean, people take… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
I think probably one of the coolest things was when I went to play basketball at Rucker Park in Harlem. First of… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
When I started doing my act, I wasn't married and didn't have kids. I was probably 29 years old. Some people say… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
You learn a lot though when you have kids, I'll tell you what. Did you know when a baby poops its diapers, you're not… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
When you're doing comedy, it is so subjective. What is funny to you is not funny to another person. What is dirty to you… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
People always ask my mom what I did as a kid. My mom says, "He wasn't a bad kid. He was never an unruly… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
There's the old joke, "What's the difference between country and redneck? Well, that's three hundred dollars." — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
I had a buddy of mine call up the other day, all upset 'cause he slept with his third cousin. And I'm like, Man,… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
I've been down in Florida since 1979. When you're born in Nebraska you really can't explain it. — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
I've been fortunate, I've been blessed, and I attribute my success to all my fans. People want to do things with you when you… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
As a comedian, I don't know if they're laughing because it's funny or if they're laughing at me because I'm not funny. And I'm… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
I LOVE WAL-MART. I CONSIDER MY JOKES TO BE VERY JEUVINILLE. STUFF A 14 YEAR OLD WOULD LAUGH AT BECAUSE THATS THE SENCE OF… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
I was born and raised in Pawnee City, Nebraska. I lived right next to the sale barn and I raised pigs. My dad was… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
What I do onstage, there's maybe .0001 percent of the population that acts like that. I talk like that because it makes me laugh,… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
I was scared into being good. But I'm sure I did regular kid stuff. — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
