You can't teach somebody how to be funny. You're either funny, or you ain't. — Denis Leary Copy Share Image
Some people expect me to be funny all the time, and I'm not necessarily funny all the time. — Denis Leary Copy Share Image
There we were in the middle of a sexual revolution wearing clothes that guaranteed we wouldn't get laid. — Denis Leary Copy Share Image
Loud, stupid and overeating will suffice as long as we also have the funny, the fierce and the intellectual — Denis Leary Copy Share Image
You get to a certain point, especially if you're a comedian, where people think certain things. It's like, I don't take the… — Denis Leary Copy Share Image
Once people start to think they've wasted parts of their life, or they're wasting their life as they speak, that means there's… — Denis Leary Copy Share Image
I love to smoke. I love to eat red meat. I'll only eat red meat that comes from cows who smoke, ok!?… — Denis Leary Copy Share Image
When I was doing standup, I always wanted to get out of the standup world and take it back into the theatrical… — Denis Leary Copy Share Image
Stand-up comedy and comedy in general is the ultimate form of free speech, because you get to poke holes in all the… — Denis Leary Copy Share Image
The best comedy audiences in the country and this is tried and true, I'm not just saying it, in my opinion are… — Denis Leary Copy Share Image
You try to - you want to fly on both sides of the political fence because that's where the - where the… — Denis Leary Copy Share Image
I went to school with Steven Wright, who was the shyest guy I knew, and one day someone suddenly told me that… — Denis Leary Copy Share Image
I guess you get pigeon-holed in Hollywood, but I'm ok with that because I've been able to do a lot. I started… — Denis Leary Copy Share Image
Anybody who's done standup will tell you that there's nothing like it. The show starts at 8:00, the curtain goes up and… — Denis Leary Copy Share Image
I'm not saying being a comedian is brain surgery, but it is definitely - it's like being a carpenter. You learn how… — Denis Leary Copy Share Image
I certainly know guys in comedy, I know some actors, and I definitely know some musicians, who have survived to a certain… — Denis Leary Copy Share Image
I'm sick and tired of our generation being called the TV generation. What do you expect? We watched Lee Harvey Oswald get his brains… — Denis Leary Copy Share Image
My father left Ireland because he did not want to muck horse manure for the rest of his life, and he wanted to come… — Denis Leary Copy Share Image
Yeah, I love living in New York, man, and people who live in New York, we wear that fact like a badge right on… — Denis Leary Copy Share Image
I've always had a thing for Catwoman. Michelle Pfeiffer or Halle Berry in tight leather pants, with the boots - I'm pretty good with… — Denis Leary Copy Share Image
I spent a long time working in the movies to figure out that kind of acting and also how to write and produce for… — Denis Leary Copy Share Image
I do have to say that I think that President Obama is the greatest President in the history of all of our Presidents, and… — Denis Leary Copy Share Image
I don't want to see a 'Sopranos' movie. This is just me. I like to think the end is where it was on TV… — Denis Leary Copy Share Image
The best comedy audiences in the country and this is tried and true, I'm not just saying it, in my opinion are Boston, Atlanta,… — Denis Leary Copy Share Image
Happy Easter everyone! Jesus dies, comes back from the dead - and we get chocolate eggs. It's like turn-down service from God. — Denis Leary Copy Share Image
