Comedian Quotes · Page 20

If you want to be a comedian, go out. Do a week in Des Moines, Iowa. Try to make those people laugh.

— Nick Swardson

Basically, out of the sphere of what I do - being a comedian/writer, and out of the sphere of football, I am…

— David Baddiel

As a comedian and talk show host, Jon Stewart has been pretty funny. But as a pundit and player in our politics,…

— Jamelle Bouie

Every person you look at, you can see the universe in their eyes, if you're really looking

— George Carlin

Cinema was my passion and I am sure that if you are talented, nobody can sideline you because you are just a…

— Salim Kumar

I’m a comedian who got into movies, so I don’t really think of myself as an actor.

— Eddie Murphy

Xmas Trivia: Before it became a major shopping holiday, Christmas is believed to have had a "religious" meaning.

— Andy Borowitz

Half of being a comedian is knowing how to pace a joke, how to say it, so someone else could be given…

— Janelle James

Sometimes I don't want to go out and socialize; I just want to watch my favorite shows and comedians. But then I…

— Josh Peck

I try to think of myself as a struggling competitor or specialist at my craft, much like a singer, dancer, comedian, or…

— Kai Greene

I definitely talk about my love of metal to audiences, and I sort of realized it was always natural and never, 'Well,…

— Brian Posehn

I started out as a stand-up comedian, where you have to be your own businessman. You have to go out there and…

— Nick Cannon

“Divorce is like surgery without anesthesia. You feel every cut, every tear, and it leaves you with scars you can't see, but…

— Paul Hogan

I mean, sometimes... a comedian becomes an actor, and they just don't deliver, because the bottom line of comedy is to be…

— Eddie Izzard

I'm more of an older school comedian so Tommy Davidson still makes me laugh a lot no matter how many times I've…

— Joe Torry

Dad made me laugh a lot. He was a real comedian. He had a real sarcastic sense of humour, he could really…

— Julian Lennon

If a comedian tells a joke that you find funny, you laugh. If he tells a joke you do not find funny,…

— Gilbert Gottfried

I've never been able to tell jokes. In the beginning of my career I did impressions and jokes like any other comedian,…

— Don Rickles

A lot of stand-up specials for cable are meant to glorify the comedian. They put you in a really beautiful theater, and…

— Louis C. K

I don't mind what people say about me as long as it's an opinion or the truth. If someone says, 'He's the…

— Ricky Gervais

People tell me I'm a comedian, but I don't approach acting from that perspective. I do know that everything in life has…

— Mike Tyson

It’s sad. Marxism didn’t work. Communism didn’t work. Capitalism doesn’t work. Nothing works. Even democracy doesn’t work. Democracy-the greatest form of government…

— Colin Quinn

We're shaking up a format, which I think is always a good thing. The thing about [2011 Oscar hosts] James [Franco] and…

— Bruce Vilanch

It's a great time to be a comedian because you've got so much more control. You can say what you want to.…

— Bill Burr

I'm a huge Lamb Chop freak because Shari Lewis was a Jewish comedian, and I have a giant Lamb Chop tattoo on…

— Sarah Sherman

When I tell people I'm a comedian they say, 'Oh, are you funny?' I say, 'No, it's not that kind of comedy.'

— Susan Sarandon

When comedians get successful, the fans that they have aren't the fans they would hang out with. I don't have that problem.

— Chris Hardwick

As we go from Abraham Lincoln to Theodore Roosevelt to Mitt Romney, I now understand why the Republicans don't believe in evolution.

— Andy Borowitz

I am able to apply certain things to my craft that maybe other comedians don't, because I'm a devotee.

— Hari Kondabolu

I've been a comedian for a long time so writing and performing is a big part of what I do. If anybody's…

— Colton Dunn

As a comedian, I'm like one of those on-the-scene reporters. I will actually go and try to find disasters so I can…

— Paul Provenza

I didn't plan on being a comedian. I didn't plan on getting married and I didn't plan on having kids, but I…

— Rodney Carrington

Comedians... they're different from actors. There's more ego there. They create the whole thing, I guess, so they're more precious.

— Sharon Horgan

I was always a visual comedian. That's why all the body stuff comes into play - as a performer, it has every…

— Sarah Sherman

I am a professional comedian, a published novelist, and a general wit for hire.

— Dominic Holland

My grandfather's a little forgetful, but he likes to give me advice. One day, he took me aside and left me there.

— Ron Richards

My interest in magic was kindled by Steve Martin, the comedian I'd gone to high school with.

— Gary McCord

On July 4 we celebrate government of the people, by the people, and for the people, or as they are now called, corporations.

— Andy Borowitz

I might've been witty, but I didn't have a shtick. So, I never considered myself a comedian.

— Scott Adsit

Every group needs a comedian. A comic who is politically incorrect at the Berkeley campus might slay them at a Klan rally.

— Lenny Bruce