Comedian Quotes · Page 16

In general, comedians are attracted to vice.

— Natasha Leggero

Will Rogers used to say he wouldn't run for president no matter how badly the country needed a comedian.

— Will Rogers

I'm a comedian at heart, and I really can make people laugh, but ever since 'Amadeus,' all I seem to do is…

— F. Murray Abraham

If in the first 30 seconds, a comedian cannot bring a smile to your face, he is not an entertainer.

— Chunky Pandey

Comedians are thinkers. The best ones are akin to philosophers, in my opinion.

— Ted Alexandro

The default position now is that comedians do Twitter but I don't know why. Every bad story you see about a comedian…

— Lee Mack

The test of a real comedian is whether you laugh at him before he opens his mouth.

— George Jean Nathan

The only difference between a comedian and someone else? We need to make people laugh more.

— Greg Davies

I didn't plan to be a comedian. I didn't plan to be a drag queen. It just kind of evolved.

— Bianca Del Rio

Its really irritating. Even people who like my work sometimes come up to me and say, I usually dont like female comedians,…

— Chelsea Peretti

A kitten is the most irresistible comedian in the world. Its wide-open eyes gleam with wonder and mirth. It darts madly at…

— Agnes Repplier

Avoid using the word 'very' because it's lazy. A man is not very tired, he is exhausted. Don't use very sad, use…

— Robin Williams

I, myself, have killed six people. All random, all undetected, no way to trace them to me. And, let me tell you,…

— George Carlin

Some comedians love their characters. I don't fall in love with mine. In fact, I get tired of them very fast. You…

— John Belushi

I have too many influences to name. I like a wide variety of stuff, which I think has been helpful. I liked…

— John Mulaney

You get to a certain point, especially if you're a comedian, where people think certain things. It's like, I don't take the…

— Denis Leary

We mustn't complain too much of being comedians - it's an honorable profession. If only we could be good ones the world…

— Graham Greene

I know that it's probably not a good idea for a comedian, especially a satirist, to support a public policy group or…

— Al Franken

I'd like to help other comedians and when I get a little older I'd like to open up a nice comedy club…

— Bruce Bruce

Since the 1980s, I've been known more for my TV work, I used to host 'Live at Jongleurs' and of course 'Grumpy…

— Rick Wakeman

Every time I've done comedy in, like, traditional comedy clubs, there's always these comedians that do really well with audiences but that…

— Aziz Ansari

Anything to declare? the customs inspector said."Two pound of uncut heroin and a manual of pornographic art," Mark answered, looking about for…

— Leon Uris

There's all this evidence that we leave now of our life, especially if you're a comedian or an entertainer. I mean, I…

— Moshe Kasher

When I was 13 I told my dad I'd rather kill myself than do an ordinary job. He vaguely muttered something about…

— Noel Fielding

I really wanted to, but I just didn't understand how people became comedians. I kind of thought it was something you were…

— Tig Notaro

An academic is what I would have been if I hadn't been successful as a comedian. I've never had a proper job.

— David Baddiel

I'm not a comedian - you've got to know your boundaries - but I think I could definitely do a comedic film…

— Jason Taylor

I believe I am God's favorite comedian. I think he is a really big comedy writer. He writes scripts. And I just…

— Corey Feldman

Fame is an upshot of what I do. If you're a successful comedian or actor, then you're a famous one. But it's…

— Ricky Gervais

I'm not a comedy writer, I'm a comedian, so I only write stuff that I would want to say.

— Anthony Jeselnik

I'm not the sort of comedian who wants to make audiences think about politics. I'm not clever in that way.

— Peter Kay

I don't know what it would be like to actually play guitar. I've toured with a lot of comedians and it's never…

— Eugene Mirman

In the dark times, if you have something to hold on to, which is yourself, you'll survive.

— Whoopi Goldberg

[Comedian Jerry Seinfeld was nominated for a Grammy for his spoken-word children's album] Halloween... Don't Give Up on Me.

— Jamie Lee Curtis

I have not moved out of the comedian's box into the news box. The news box is moving towards me.

— Jon Stewart

I was a standup comedian, which is kind of like writing and directing yourself.

— Paul Feig

I like writing and directing. I enjoy telling stories, and I think it's born in a comedian to end up directing.

— Bobcat Goldthwait

I am not a comedian, I am an actor, and what makes an actor brilliant is his versatility.

— Binnu Dhillon

If you're billed as a comedian, people will accept anything you say as light-hearted and not with intent behind it.

— Megan Fox

As a young comedian playing the working men's clubs in the 70s, I'd been in awe of Dustin Gee.

— Les Dennis