“I’ll write something that’s 111% true. It’ll be so true that it’ll be 100% false.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Books allow you to take flight, unlike the chicken wings I stapled to my back before eating them.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I wanted to write “I Want” because wanting is one of the things I want most in life.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Rather than dirt, I’d rather push a wheelbarrow full of books. Dirty books.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“For my books, I do everything short of writing my own reviews. Those I do tall.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I should charge my bank money every time I endorse the back of a check. What is the going rate these days… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If writers write, then rangers range. And I’d like to wake up every morning and be a mother, so I could eat… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Half of what I write is garbage, but if I don’t get it down on paper it decomposes in my head. This… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I want to write a chicken story, starting from scratch, and my handwriting is chicken scratch so it’s perfect.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I can read people like an open book, especially if their named Braille, and I’m in a touchy-feely mood.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My advice is to write in the nude. Unless you do your writing in a public restroom, and in that case, I’d… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The house I grew up in is one of a kind. It’s a bibliophile’s fantasy, and if the Library of Congress had… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Sometimes writing is easy. Other times it’s as hard as trying to eat a whole whale, after the whale has just eaten… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I collect things that collect dust. Like dust jackets. Despite no fingerprints in the dust on these books, most of the dust… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“As a thinker, and most writers would consider themselves thinkers, your competition is not only the whole world, but it’s also the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Writing is the art of remembering and forgetting. You must forget what you’ve already written, because if you’re dwelling on your old… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“People who collect books, and categorize them by Roy G. Biv instead of alphabetically, are displaying the fact that their books aren't… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I don’t like writers whose writing is so obvious that I can predict what he’ll write while I’m still taking in his… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If I told you that my global audience has shot up 100% in the last six months, what would you say? If… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Actual message in letter I mailed: Congrats on getting married! Here’s a hundred-dollar gift certificate to Amazon.com. You could buy something practical,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“It’s easier to start writing if you have something to write about, rather than staring at a blank screen thinking about nothing… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Even though I know my own name (barely), I still sometimes write my name wrong. Usually it only happens when I write… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There are certain books in the history of the world that should never have been written. This book makes all those look… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’m working hard to edit my book, so I can get it up for sale so that nobody can rush out and… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If I were a cop, and I caught a criminal, I’d throw the book at them. A heavy book, like an unabridged… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“When people say they don’t read, I always wonder if they don’t because they can’t or because they won’t. Then I think,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Most writers might as well write in invisible ink, because if what they’re writing is forgettable, it might as well be invisible… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“When a writer has deep thoughts, I expect him to also have a deep voice. And if he doesn’t, he should remain… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Last night I read two books back to back. Tonight I’ll probably read both of those books’ front covers.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The flashing black line on an empty Word document reminds me that my life is counting down second by second, and that… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hope you enjoy reading my book as much as I didn’t enjoy writing it. Just kidding! I hope you don’t enjoy… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I started writing to get women, or rather a particular woman, and I continue writing because it’s now a compulsion.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There are only two kinds of books worth keeping: Valuable books and valuable books. The first value is monetary, and the second… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Early on I set out to write the next Great American Novel, and then later on I set out the silverware and… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I love ebooks. I love the idea of storing books in “The Cloud”, because honestly, reading and rainy days go together like… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My book is a light read. Seriously, it probably weighs 3.33 ounces. That’s pretty impressive, considering it’s an ebook.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A book is a vacation for the mind. My books will take you inside my mind, so feel free to make yourself… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“All my best writing was written before 1982, and then a significant event happened to me: I was born.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Orafoura once told me that if I were a car, I’d be a Ferrari. One that was scratched smashed, rusted, and stolen.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“What makes a good leader? I ask myself this every day, and then as I begin to list off characteristics I realize I’m describing… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“I’d like to file a missing person’s report—on my clone. It’s nearly 2012. He should have been here by now.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
