The only time I enjoy listening to people complain is when I have my earphones on. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When I said What did I do this time? I really meant What did you catch me doing? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I start conversations with Hey, I'm fine and I'm sure you're too to save time. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
One time, I drunkenly threw up into a mailbox and yelled First class delivery and now I'm a dad. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Don't waste your time giving someone a second chance, when there is someone better out there waiting for their first. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Things shall fall into its perfect place, in the perfect time, at a perfect setting that you will always be able to… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Just because I walked away doesn't mean you won. It simply means your dumb ass wasn't worth another second of my time. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
In time you'll look back and realize some relationships weren't meant to be. Once you accept your new life, and freedom things… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Longest minutes ever: 1. Waiting on a text 2.) Waiting on your food to get out the microwave 3.) Commercials while watching a good show. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Ladies, don't complain about why he came home so late. Take him in the room & remind him why he should get… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Opportunity Comes Any Time In Life So Please Keep Three Things Ready. First Resumes Second Passport & Third Condom — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sweetie, if you opened a book more times than you opened your legs,you might actually get somewhere in life. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If a guy tells you he's not ready for a relationship, it's ok to give him time. Just not any of yours...he's… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you give of your time and money to help people who had nothing, and… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A vagina is a lot like a boxing match. When it all gets too bloody and messy, it's time to throw in… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I don't take it personally if you unfollow me. Just make sure you never check into foursquare in the future. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My wife got naked & asked me to show her a good time. So I showed her photos of me & my… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you had sex 365 times in 12 months and melted down the rubbers to make a tire, what would you have??… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A Woman Never Say: Let's just leave the toilet seat up at all times, then you don't have to mess with it… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Every time I see a dude wearing jeans with rips at the knee, I assume the rips came from sucking a lot… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I asked my mom, 'How old were you when I was born?' My mom replied, '23' Me: 'Wow, that's a lot of… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Life would be perfect if: Some girls had mute buttons,Some guys had edit buttons,Hard times had fast forward & Good times had… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Whenever you're having doubts about your sexuality, remember that's exactly how female cockroaches feel the whole time. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Taking a long time to shower, just cause you like to stand there, under the warm water, doing nothing. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My friend said he didn't have time for Twitter like me, he has a job I replied shut the fuck up &… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I'm such a bad friend when it comes to communication like if you don't try to contact me you won't hear from… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you watch an animated movie from your childhood, and finally understand all the dirty jokes. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Chess is the only game in the world, which reflects the status of the husband. the poor king can take only one… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you haven't checked the time in your watch for like 4 or 5 hours, you're probably having a good time. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The only time a woman should ever look down on a man is when she's riding his cock like a cowgirl. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The next time someone gets in my face to fight, I'll show them pictures on my phone of an ant I once… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Think how miserable your sex life has to be to find the time to leave a comment on a porn video. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The best feeling in the world is knowing you finally took a step in the right direction, a step towards a better… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you're chatting with someone and see '….. is typing' and then they end up writing nothing. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Most people are lucky and only look horrible in the mornings. I look horrible at all times during the day. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I won't be tweeting this sunday. I have better things to do like bashing myself by following girls on streets. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Men and women shop differently. Men know what they want before they see it. Women don't know what they want until they see it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I used to receive virtual smiles, sweet morning and night greetings. Now all I have is silence, and a blistered heart. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Do girls really look at penises and say Wow, I can't wait to put that in my mouth? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
