“It’s easy to see what to do once it’s already been done. The difficult time is before it’s to be done, and… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best time to complain is right after you’ve come up with a solution to the problem. Pose the questions, present the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Water doesn’t shape like clay when you move it with your hands. I've spent a lot of time swimming, and none of… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“By the time I tell you to start doing something, it’s time for you to stop listening and start doing. Especially if… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“To blame me in the past is a very future me thing to do. But what am I supposed to do, scapegoat… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Money, like a person whose first name is Money, shouldn’t be what you spend your time fantasizing about. And the same goes… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I don't know what love is, but I know what love isn't. Love isn't a peanut butter and tuna sandwich, because no… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“You may scoff and say I only make ten dollars an hour, but if at the end of an eight hour shift… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I was hot so I gave myself a haircut. I then saw a bald man sweating, so I offered to tweeze his… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The lights might have dimmed, but I blinked at that moment so I didn’t notice. I also didn’t notice her love, probably… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If you have one dollar and I have a hundred dollars, I could say I have a hundred times the amount of… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Before the blue of night meets the pink of sunrise, there is a transition of lavender. It's a gradient of color that… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Some people work to live, and other people live to work. Then some people, like me, are both unemployed and alive (at… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“In middle school, I spent a lot of time with my buddy Edward. I called him Sex Ed, not because he got… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I remember one time some guy put caviar in my omelet, and I had to complain saying, “Excuse me, you idiot, but… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If instead of a handshake you hold out a fist for a fist bump, I’ll wrap my hand around your fist like… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If the word "committee" were an acronym, the two "T"s would stand for time travel. How else can a group waste so… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The moment I laid eyes on her I knew she was somebody else, somebody I could love. And since somebody else never… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Love is the thing that holds life together. Sort of like rind to a melon, cloth to a stuffed animal, or money… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Orafoura once told me that if I were a car, I’d be a Ferrari. One that was scratched smashed, rusted, and stolen.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“What makes a good leader? I ask myself this every day, and then as I begin to list off characteristics I realize I’m describing… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“I’d like to file a missing person’s report—on my clone. It’s nearly 2012. He should have been here by now.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
