Women are often pushed into the idea that they write softer, more character-driven jokes. — Allison Silverman Copy Share Image
I have jokes I've told before and will tell again, but my favorite part of the night is talking to the crowd. — Paula Poundstone Copy Share Image
WHEN YOU CANNOT JOKE ABOUT THE DARKNESS OF LIFE, THAT’S WHEN THE DARKNESS TAKES OVER. — Amanda Palmer Copy Share Image
It used to bother me when people called me a pussy. But the joke's on them - after all, you are what… — Jon Schmidt Copy Share Image
It is a great rush to come up with a joke that gets a good response from the audience. It's gold! — Kevin Nealon Copy Share Image
The future of this nation, with the present generation, You must admit is nothing but a joke — Ira Gershwin Copy Share Image
When I make a book, I make it for the child and not for the parent - no jokes in it for… — Dick Bruna Copy Share Image
In an interview, Interviewer: How does an electric motor run? Sardar: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. … Inteviewer shouts: Stop it. Sardar: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup... — ZhatsPrincess Copy Share Image
When you have a couple hundred people in one huge space, that's gonna lead to jokes and it's a breeding ground for… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't think that women necessarily always write like women. I was a writer on the 'Comedy Central Roasts' for a while,… — Whitney Cummings Copy Share Image
3 blonds were driving to Disney World: The sign said 'Disney World Left,' so they started crying, turned around and drove home. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Looking into blood doping. I think it will allow me to write jokes with greater intensity, and for a longer period of… — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
People are writing shorter jokes. The style I've started with was almost trying to keep jokes under 140 characters before Twitter. — Nick Thune Copy Share Image
The funnest jokes for me to tell are the ones that are the newest. So I'm just constantly motivated to keep my… — Brian Regan Copy Share Image
Donald Trump was very receptive. Funny. Cracked some jokes. And understand it very well. And said he was in that he would… — Jim Brown Copy Share Image
I used to joke that one of the reasons there was a lack of classical work on my CV was because I… — Bill Nighy Copy Share Image
I call my backup singers my sister wives. To me, they are my best friends. We are all super close. It's kind… — Alex Winston Copy Share Image
Now, some people do this for shock value. Shock is just another uptown word for surprise. Granted it has a different quality… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
There is plenty of time for Republicans to have a Macaca moment. But right now, as of October 17, 2014, the Republican… — Matthew Continetti Copy Share Image
I can do jokes sometimes where I feel like I'm being mean to a person - it's not like they're there -… — Nate Bargatze Copy Share Image
Fashion has become a joke. The designers have forgotten that there are women inside the dresses. Most women dress for men and… — Coco Chanel Copy Share Image
I’m assuming you’re as mystified by this as the rest of us, Rasputin. No. I’m not. I have been planning to destroy… — Joss Whedon Copy Share Image
Notes for a ballet, The Spell: ... Suddenly Sigmund hears the flutter of wings, and a group of wild swans flies across… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Never, never tell jokes about a man with easy access to weapons of mass destruction. — Peter Chernin Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you pose nude for your art teacher and you flunk the course. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the meal seriously. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
People say Go to Hell like it's a bad thing. I wouldn't mind Hell, it's warm and I know people there. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
School: An institute where the child goes to play while the parent goes to pay. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The government might as well just legalize weed because coz we all smoke that shit anyway — MNT Squared Copy Share Image
It's a cosmic joke that I'm a lesbian, because I understand men so well but women are a complete mystery to me. — Lea DeLaria Copy Share Image
Police have special ability from an ice. Whenever police say 'FREEZE!!' all people that they want will frozen — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Every single person is a fool, insane, a failure, or a bad person to at least ten people.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
I like smart jokes, I like dumb jokes, and I like dumb jokes done smartly. — Mike Myers Copy Share Image
Honey, you're getting Adele. - How I told my Girl friend she's getting fat. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
![“I’m assuming you’re as mystified by this as the rest of us, Rasputin. No. I’m not. I have been planning to destroy the Breakworld since I was a child. [silence] This is why I don’t make so many jokes. I never know when is good.” quote by Joss Whedon](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/c14/joss-whedon-480_assuming_i-m-assuming-you-re-as-mystified-by-this_196955.png)
