There is one thing I would break up over and that is if she caught me with another woman. I wouldn't stand… — Steve Martin Copy Share Image
These days it's hard to look at a poodle without thinking what a good meal he would make. — Steve Martin Copy Share Image
There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I wont stand… — Steve Martin Copy Share Image
It was so sweet backstage, you should have seen it - The Teamsters were helping Michael Moore into the trunk of his… — Steve Martin Copy Share Image
I believe that sex is the most beautiful, natural, and wholesome thing that money can buy. — Steve Martin Copy Share Image
Lots of women are getting involved. They're not satisfied just being passengers anymore. — Steve Martin Copy Share Image
Chaos in the midst of chaos isn't funny, but chaos in the midst of order is. — Steve Martin Copy Share Image
I thought 'Borat' was a breakthrough comedy, because it was really funny. It wasn't some studio-produced script with 14 writers. — Steve Martin Copy Share Image
I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got… — Steve Martin Copy Share Image
Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you'll be a mile… — Steve Martin Copy Share Image
You know, a lot of people come to me and they say, "Steve, how can you be so fucking funny?" There's a… — Steve Martin Copy Share Image
I've always believed that there are funny people everywhere, but they're just not comedians. In fact, some of my best comedic inspirations… — Steve Martin Copy Share Image
If you're studying Geology, which is all facts, as soon as you get out of school you forget it all, but Philosophy… — Steve Martin Copy Share Image
'Dirty Rotten Scoundrels' is a good one because it not only turned out, I think, to be a really funny movie but… — Steve Martin Copy Share Image
It's so hard to believe in anything anymore, you know what I mean? It's like, religion, you really can't take it seriously,… — Steve Martin Copy Share Image
I was deeply unhappy, but I didn't know it because I was so happy all the time. — Steve Martin Copy Share Image
Hosting the Oscars is like making love to a beautiful woman - it's something I only get to do when Billy Crystal's… — Steve Martin Copy Share Image
I believe you should place a woman on a pedestal: high enough so you can look up her dress. — Steve Martin Copy Share Image
First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. — Steve Martin Copy Share Image
I believe Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was... an Arctic region covered with ice. — Steve Martin Copy Share Image
I'm a bitter, sad, sour young man who makes a career out of hastling people with real careers. — Steve Martin Copy Share Image
“People in coats and ties were milling around the Talley gallery, and on the wall were the minimally rendered still lifes by Giorgio Morandi,… — Steve Martin Copy Share
Writing is something I took up rather than anything I had an inclination toward. I like acting -delivering someone else's message - but writing… — Steve Martin Copy Share
“It was easy to be great. Every entertainer has a night when everything is clicking. These nights are accidental and statistical: Like lucky cards… — Steve Martin Copy Share
“And after his unparsable response, including a passage where he said he was 'blurring the boundaries between a thing and thought,' she said, 'Thank… — Steve Martin Copy Share
I have no fear, no fear at all. I wake up, and I have no fear. I go to bed without fear. Fear, fear,… — Steve Martin Copy Share
When I finally retire, I just want to go away so no one has to listen to me. — Steve Martin Copy Share
Only then does he realize what he has done to Mirabelle, how wanting a square inch of her and not all of her has… — Steve Martin Copy Share
“Lacey was just as happy alone as with company. When she was alone, she was potential; with others she was realized. Alone, she was… — Steve Martin Copy Share
At first I had no skills in writing comedy. I didn't know what a joke was, but, as someone once told me, your emotions… — Steve Martin Copy Share
You cannot make your opportunities concur with the opportunities of people whose incomes are ten times greater than yours. — Steve Martin Copy Share
The lure in art collecting and its financial rewards, not counting for a moment its aesthetic, cultural and intellectual rewards, is like the trust… — Steve Martin Copy Share
My most persistent memory of stand - up is of my mouth being in the present and my mind being in the future: the… — Steve Martin Copy Share
What I mean is that none of my talents had a - what's that great word - rubric. A singer, an actor, a dancer… — Steve Martin Copy Share
