Funny facebook status Quotes by Nikhil Saluja · Page 18

Do not blow dealers for crack; blow regular citizens for cash, then buy the crack directly.

— Nikhil Saluja

Earlier I used to feel like a guy trapped inside a woman's body. Especially during the first nine months.

— Nikhil Saluja

They say you can never win from a woman in an arguement, I say you can never win from a woman in…

— Nikhil Saluja

If I follow you, don't tweet about your boyfriend because I'm your boyfriend until further notice.

— Nikhil Saluja

You don't understand me and never will, so don't start that shit about knowing how I feel.

— Nikhil Saluja

I should've known it wasn't going to work out between my ex-wife and me. After all, I'm a Leo and she's a…

— Nikhil Saluja

If my tweets offend you: 1. I'm sorry. 2. It won't happen again. 3. 1 & 2 are lies. 4. You're a pussy.

— Nikhil Saluja

LOVE, That delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock {John Barrymore};

— Nikhil Saluja

This Is The Beginning Of A New Day! You Have Been Given This Day To Use As You Will!

— Nikhil Saluja

Ladies, you are delusional if you think you can give me a hand job better than I can.

— Nikhil Saluja

My wife is so bad at sex, I close my eyes and pretend she's my hand.

— Nikhil Saluja

Sometimes I just wish I could disappear for a while to a place where nothing can go wrong in life.

— Nikhil Saluja

There are exceptions is new replyback when someone disagree with your tweet.

— Nikhil Saluja

The quickest way to get someones attention is to no longer want it.

— Nikhil Saluja

Project Manager is a Person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in One month.

— Nikhil Saluja

My grandfather died during sex. I still cry when I watch the video.

— Nikhil Saluja

I rather be hated for who I am, then to be loved for who I am not.

— Nikhil Saluja

Ladies: Men wouldn't cheat if you did a little less nagging, and a little more gagging.

— Nikhil Saluja

HUSBAND, A man who lost his liberty in the pursuit of happiness;

— Nikhil Saluja

I see your lips moving, but all I hear is blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah

— Nikhil Saluja

You can tell a lot about a person by holding a gun at their head and asking them questions.

— Nikhil Saluja

It has been scientifically proven that the less you know, the more you think you know.

— Nikhil Saluja

Don't Take It Seriously * When the DOCTOR says, Take off your clothes.

— Nikhil Saluja

History may repeat itself, But Herstory won't ever shut the fuck up about it.

— Nikhil Saluja

I may not agree with what you have to say, but I shall defend to the death your right to shut up.

— Nikhil Saluja

Drink 5 cups of milk and try to push the wall … And then drink 5 cups of alcohol and watch ……

— Nikhil Saluja

Last night I called this girl. SLUT in public & now she is charging me double for sex.

— Nikhil Saluja

Inspirational tweet of the day: If you ever feel like you're about to do something you're going to regret later, do it.

— Nikhil Saluja

Puddle: A small body of water that attracts other small bodies wearing dry shoes.

— Nikhil Saluja

It's only happy hour if a hot girl is sharing your drinks. Otherwise it's just drowning your misery.

— Nikhil Saluja

I've been banging my head against this wall for hours trying to figure out where all this blood is coming from!

— Nikhil Saluja

Twitter: where no one is afraid to say the first thing that pops into their head.

— Nikhil Saluja

Relationship Status: Apologizing everytime for saying something hilarious.

— Nikhil Saluja

With $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like... love!

— Nikhil Saluja

Consultant is a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a Baby.

— Nikhil Saluja

Idiots don't know they are idiots, I know I am an idiot therefore I am not an idiot ;)

— Nikhil Saluja

The thing I admire most in my girlfriend is her brains and the way that each of them has an attractive nipple…

— Nikhil Saluja

I'm the only man who has a marriage license made out To Whom It My Concern .

— Nikhil Saluja

LOVE, The only virtue that can be divided endlessly and still not be diminished;

— Nikhil Saluja

Expectoration: If you go to a political rally, you should EXPECTORATION.

— Nikhil Saluja