“The first step to running a successful business, is printing out pictures of all the luxury items you’re going to buy once… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The business of business is people, not products or services. Take care of the people, and the people will take care of… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I think Starbucks would go out of business if more people were to Superglue their eyelids open when they felt tired.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If I had a hand for a penis, would a hand job be appropriate in place of a handshake at business meetings? ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Business idea: People like to eat and drive, so why not make edible cars? Instead of gasoline, they’d run on coffee.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“With any new business deal, don’t think about how much you can afford to get—think about how much you can afford to… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best salespeople are not salespeople, they’re people who’ve not only bought the product, but also bought into the idea of the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I oft go to a loft aloft in the sky. I go alone, because I enjoy the company of a lofty intellect.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“When I got a networking event, I don’t see a crowd of strangers—I see an admiring audience waiting for me to perform… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’m acquiring handshakes left and right. I collect introductions, and the best place to procure them is at chamber of commerce networking… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I work for a mom and pop business. They’re my mom and pop, and by work I mean they give me an… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I went to a networking event once. I passed out before I passed out my business cards. My business was called Blacked… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Ben had never seen another hotel quite like The Mandrake. The valets were all dressed like Roman Centurions, the Doorman was dressed… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I don’t care that I no longer have my grandma to keep me company at the dining room table. Especially since she… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“It’s now 4:17 am, and I just got done dealing with Mrs. Indianapolis, of Indiana. She’s a regular here, and she accompanies… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The growth of my business was amazing. Unfortunately, it grew like a tumor and not like a tree. I really needed to… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I can draw like it’s nobody’s business. I use my door as a canvas, so don’t knock, because it’s nobody’s business.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“It may be 9:01 am, and I may have a 9-5 business, but if you are a politician, I’m closed. Come back… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Before job interviews, I think: What color tie best represents me as a person this company would be interested in?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Some wise guys came by my business establishment and tried to offer me neighborhood protection. They weren’t mafia, but they were wearing… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I go to sleep in my business suit, because it makes my dreams of success seem more real.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I don’t understand open relationships. My relationship is like a normal business at 5:01 pm: very much closed.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I drive by a business that has a permanent sign that says, "Always hiring." Why in the world would they advertise the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I rode my horse to the saloon, but it was out of business. The cowboy I spoke with said the bartender served… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Working in the hotel business I have learned a lot about people. It’s amazing what you can discover about someone by watching… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“She works in the corporate business center, and I work in a satellite location. She calls it the “moon,” while I call… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’m a designer. I’m trying to design a half a person, but I’m looking for a business partner, a female who’ll contribute… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I do a lot of business with businesses. And I do a lot of business with individuals. And guess what? It turns… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’ll buy your product and then return your product, and tell you to keep my money, so it feels more like a… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. You were in the oil business, and I sold icy roads for a living. You didn’t… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hired a counterfeiter the other day. I told him, “As for your salary, how much you make is really up to… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Orafoura once told me that if I were a car, I’d be a Ferrari. One that was scratched smashed, rusted, and stolen.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“What makes a good leader? I ask myself this every day, and then as I begin to list off characteristics I realize I’m describing… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“I’d like to file a missing person’s report—on my clone. It’s nearly 2012. He should have been here by now.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
