Bars Quote by Tommy Cooper Download Open image “A man walks into a bar, and he said OUCH, cause it was an iron bar.” — Tommy Cooper ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 2.1 out of 5 (6 ratings) Copy quoteShare Bars Causes Iron Men Ouch Said Walks
A jump lead walks into a bar. The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything." — Tommy Cooper Copy Share Image
So there I was lying in the gutter. A man stopped and asked '"What's the matter? Did you fall over?" So I said "No.… — Chic Murray Copy Share Image
Comic Sans walked into a bar. The bartender frowned and said, We don't serve your type here. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
A guy walks into a bar* he sits down and sighs. the bartender walks over and asks him long day the man laughs and… — She's_gone Copy Share Image
“Two jumper cables walk into a bar. The bartender says, "You guys better not start anything in here!” — Various Copy Share Image
“A bar, as any good dictionary will tell you, is a rod of wood or iron that can be used to fasten a gate.… — Mark Forsyth Copy Share Image
“Now Lewis joined in. 'A sicko walks into a bar,' he said. 'WHAM! And then i hit him with the bar again, an iron… — Charlie Higson Copy Share Image
Guy goes into a bar with a duck under his arm. Bartender says, "Where'd you get the pig?" Guy says, "This is a duck."… — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman looks at them and says: "Is this some kind of a… — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
It doesn't matter how many times the audience has heard it before. If it's funny, it's funny. — Tommy Cooper Copy Share Image
“Two blondes walk into a building. You'd think at least one of them would have seen it.” — Tommy Cooper Copy Share Image
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed,… — Tommy Cooper Copy Share Image
I inherited a painting and a violin which turned out to be a Rembrandt and a Stradivarius. Unfortunately, Rembrandt made lousy violins and Stradivarius… — Tommy Cooper Copy Share Image
Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the pillow was gone. — Tommy Cooper Copy Share Image
I bought some HP sauce the other day. It's costing me 6p a month for the next 2 years. — Tommy Cooper Copy Share Image
Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself. — Tommy Cooper Copy Share Image
Gambling has brought our family together. We had to move to a smaller house. — Tommy Cooper Copy Share Image
And an airplane of spittle dived into the sea, there were no salivas. — Tommy Cooper Copy Share Image
He said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library. I thought, "That's… — Tommy Cooper Copy Share Image
My wife said, 'Take me in your arms and whisper something soft and sweet.' I said, 'chocolate fudge.' — Tommy Cooper Copy Share Image
If, for instance, they have heard something from the postman, they attribute it to a semi-official statement; if they have fallen into conversation with a stranger at a bar, they can conscientiously describe him as a source that has hitherto proved unimpeachable. It is only when the journalist is reporting a whim of his own, and one to which he… — Evelyn Waugh Copy Share
The dark ages still reign over all humanity, and the depth and persistence of this domination are only now becoming clear. This Dark Ages… — R. Buckminster Fuller Copy Share Image
It wasn't really touching to be young; it was touching not to be young, because you had less of life left. Touching to be thirty; more touching to be forty; tragic to be fifty; and heartbreaking to be sixty. As to seventy, as to eighty, one would feel as one did during the last dance of a ball, tired but… — Rose Macaulay Copy Share
Your thief looks Exactly like the rest, or rather better; 'Tis only at the bar, and in the dungeon, That wise men know your… — Lord Byron Copy Share Image
While traveling, I love granola bars, trail mix nuts, dry cereal and fruit for on-the-go snacks. I also try and start the day with… — Christie Rampone Copy Share Image
3 people get stranded on a remote Island A Banker, a Daily Mail reader & an Asylum seeker All they have to eat is a box of 10 Mars bars The Banker says "Because of my expertise in asset management, I''ll look after our resources" The other 2 agree So the Banker opens the box, gobbles down 9 of the… — Christopher Brookmyre Copy Share
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar. — W. C. Fields Copy Share Image
Meanwhile after failing the bar twice, I knew some people in New York and moved here in August '71. — Robert Quine Copy Share Image
If you look at coffee, tea, food and juice, we think there are inherent opportunities. If you look at health bars or grab-and-go products… — Howard Schultz Copy Share Image
At about 10 o'clock in the morning the sun threw a bright dust-laden bar through one of the side windows and in and out… — John Steinbeck Copy Share Image
I bet a guy at a bar 50 bucks that I was more dysfunctional than he was. He raped me. So I tipped him.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I closed my own jazz bar so I could be a man who can write novels as I like. I was pleased about that.… — Haruki Murakami Copy Share Image
