Bars Quote by Chic Murray

Chic Murray once told me he fell in the street, and a woman said to him, "Did you fall?" He said, "No, I'm tryin'…

— Billy Connolly

I was lying ten and had a thirty-five foot putt. I whispered over my shoulder: "How does this one break?" And my caddie said,…

— Jack Lemmon

“I got dumped at Taco Bill's today; fell down, split my pants, and generally humiliated myself in front of a complete stranger; went to…

— Nicole Christie

“Swinging the door open, I took a sip. All of the coffee in the world wouldn't help if more visitors showed up at my…

— Nicole Hamlett

“Money in hand, I glanced up to find Glenn eyeing a rack of stuffed rats. As the salesman rang up my purchase, Glenn leaned…

— Kim Harrison

“I did the only thing I could. I said the dumbest thing any man has ever said to a woman, “Yeah, it’s just me…

— Amanda Hamm

A man turns to the guy next to him who's covered in bandages from head to toe and asks "What happened?". "I fell through…

— Frank Carson

I tell ya, I knew my morning wasn't going right. When I put on my shirt the button fell off, when I picked up…

— Rodney Dangerfield

“Does your friend ever say anything?' the fat man asked. Aloom set down the piece of bread he had just rolled round several chunks…

— John Flanagan

Guy goes into a bar with a duck under his arm. Bartender says, "Where'd you get the pig?" Guy says, "This is a duck."…

— Rodney Dangerfield

“There was a sharp knock on the front door and being that it was a flimsy piece of shit the thing creaked and opened…

— James Cox

“No worries, girl.” He said and winked. “I will just put the rest of this in your closet, except those pants, we will never…

— C.C. Masters