Carpet Quote by Rita Rudner

My Wife & me are either going to buy a dog or have a child. Actually we can't decide whether to ruin our carpet…

— Green Monk

No dog means no disgusting surprises on carpets - thank goodness for those irrigating vacuums they sell at Canadian Tire - no hefty vet…

— Neil Macdonald

New carpet will exude poisonous formaldehyde for up to two years after it'd been laid. I know the feeling.

— Chuck Palahniuk

I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish.

— Phyllis Diller

“As a child I liked to piss on the carpet. The carpet rotted and I blamed it on the dog.”

— Sarah Kane

If you own a rug you own too much.

— Jack Kerouac

Not wanting to scare my dog is the perfect excuse for never vacuuming my house.

— Anonymous

My husband and I live for our pets, or I can say that I do.

— Beth Ostrosky Stern

The best part of owning a dog is getting to leave places to go walk it.

— Anonymous

“Y'know when your dog drags its butt across the carpet leaving a stain- It's not as easy as it looks..."
”

— Josh Stern

I'd definitely have a dog over a child.

— Kelly Brook

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.

— Woody Allen