Comedy club Quote by James Patterson

“afternoon, so I opened my jar of homemade batter and beat it with a spoon until it was fluffy again. Then I poured it…

— E.L. Todd

“Oh,” Lauren added, “and to make my life even more perfect, this idiot boy—the dude who was at the dining-table when you dropped me…

— Robert Muchamore

“I met a man with no forehead and receding eyebrows. He had ketchup crusted on his eyelids. I can't remember what we talked about,…

— Jarod Kintz

“And then there is the waiter. Not pathetic-decidedly not comic. Never making one of those perfectly insignificant remarks which amaze you so coming from…

— Katherine Mansfield

“Hipster Chick personally brings it to the table, and there’s a phone number written in ketchup on his plate. He looks at her. Looks…

— Kellen Burden

“But to me it sounded like someone throwing a roll of paper towels and a can of frosting into an oven and saying, "You…

— Lisa Kleypas

“She would not admit she was making a mess. Unfazed by bacon already shriveled and coffee stone-cold, she poured her mixings onto a grill…

— Truman Capote

“You know how you have a good meal and you got gravy left on the plate. The gravy was so good that you don’t…

— Erin Jamison

“his typical white apron emblazoned with the words, “When all else fails…everyone is gagging…and the stove is on fire…I read the recipe.”

— Laury Falter

“I sprinted down the alley, not fast enough to avoid the cold water rolling down my back, with a childlike shriek. I caught his…

— Veronica Roth

“Do I have to get diapers?” he asked. “Why, did Kade shit himself?” she laughed. Dylan huffed loudly.  Eyebrows knitted together, “DO I NEED…

— Christine Zolendz

“There is no point to any of this. It’s all just a random lottery of meaningless tragedy and a series of neat escapes. So…

— Troy Dyer