« All Years Quotes · Joan Rivers's Page
Years Quotes by Joan Rivers
- A study says owning a dog makes you 10 years younger. My first thought was to rescue two more, but I don't want to go…
- I am definitely going to watch the Emmys this year! My makeup team is nominated for “Best Special Effects.”
- My mother told me 'man on top, woman underneath.' For years my husband & I slept in bunk beds.
- A female salmon lays three thousand eggs a year - and has yet to receive a Mother's Day card from one of them.
- My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It…
- Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say,…
- Comediennes are the lucky ones, because if you're funny, you can be 125 years old and they will still accept you.
- I have a wonderful psychiatrist that I see maybe once a year, because I don't need it. It all comes out onstage.
- When a man has a birthday, he takes a day off. When a woman has a birthday, she takes at least three years off.
- Any comic is a very good actor. Look at Don Rickles. He is saying the same joke every night for 20 years and making it…
- I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath'. For three…
- The average airplane is 16 years old, and so is the average airplane meal.
More Years Quotes
- I wanted to get back to my style of 20 years ago after a long period of exploring horror and fantasy themes. — Dario Argento
- Tourism is a crucial industry that could employ millions of Filipinos, skilled and unskilled alike, cross those 7,107 islands of the Philippines.… — Benigno Aquino III
- Politics, it seems to me, for years, or all too long, has been concerned with right or left instead of right or… — Richard Armour
- I've been playing rock and roll since I was 16 years old, and now I have a 16-year-old. — Billie Joe Armstrong
- I think when you're 10 years old, it's too much to see something with the threat of death in every episode. Kids… — J. J. Abrams
- The first person to promulgate the Golden Rule, which was the bedrock of this empathic spirituality, was Confucius 500 years before Christ. — Karen Armstrong
- Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside… — Lance Armstrong
- I joined the swim team when I was 12, and I was the worst kid in the pool - I was put… — Lance Armstrong
- It's tough to be a 15- or 16-year-old athlete competing around the country. There's tension, there's media. I had no idea what… — Lance Armstrong
- Obviously, I come from one background, and the people that design fitness equipment have been doing it for years and years, and… — Lance Armstrong
- Science has not yet mastered prophecy. We predict too much for the next year and yet far too little for the next… — Neil Armstrong
- I learned a lot in those first years in Miami, while struggling just for survival, by observing my father's fortitude. — Desi Arnaz