« All Whenever Quotes · Jack Handey's Page
Whenever Quotes by Jack Handey
- Whenever someone asks me to define love, I usually think for a minute, then I spin around and pin the guy's arm behind his back.…
- Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if…
- Whenever you read a good book, it's like the author is right there, in the room, talking to you, which is why I don't like…
- Whenever I need to "get away", I just get away in my mind. I go to my imaginary spot, where the beach is perfect and…
- I wish everybody would have to have an electric thing implanted in our heads that gave us a shock whenever we did something to disobey…
- Whenever anyone says "I can't," it makes me wish he'd get stung to death by about ten thousand bees. When he says "I'll try," five…
- Isn't it funny how whenever we go to a county fair or a state fair, the first thing we do is see if they have…
- If you want to be the most popular person in your class, whenever the professor pauses in his lecture, just let out a big snort…
- Whenever I hear the sparrow chirping, watch the woodpecker chirp, catch a chirping trout, or listen to the sad howl of the chirp rat, I…
- Laugh, clown, laugh. This is what I tell myself whenever I dress up like Bozo.
More Whenever Quotes
- Whenever a toddler sees a pile of blocks, he wants to tear it down. — J. J. Abrams
- Whenever I get fed up with life I love to go wandering in nature. — Andrea Arnold
- I began wearing hats as a young lawyer because it helped me to establish my professional identity. Before that, whenever I was… — Bella Abzug
- Whenever we think of Christ, we should recall the love that led Him to bestow on us so many graces and favors,… — Teresa of Avila
- The power of the white world is threatened whenever a black man refuses to accept the white world's definitions. — James A. Baldwin
- I love all kinds of bread. Whenever I crave junk food, I want salty things like peanuts or potato chips. — Tyra Banks
- Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again. — L. Frank Baum
- Man is defined as a human being and a woman as a female - whenever she behaves as a human being she… — Simone de Beauvoir