« All Said Quotes · Rodney Dangerfield's Page
Said Quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
- I remember I was so depressed I was going to jump out a window on the tenth floor; they sent a priest up to talk…
- I told my kids, "Someday, you'll have kids of your own." One of them said, "So will you."
- My boy is a mean kid. I came home the other day and saw him taping worms to the sidewalk, he sits there and watches…
- When I was born the doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!"
- Last time I tried to make love to my wife nothing happened, so I said to her, 'What's the matter, you can't think of anybody…
- When I was born ... the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father ... I'm very sorry. We did everything…
- I asked my wife, 'Is there somebody else?' She said, 'There MUST be.'
- The sign on the bar said: 'girls- topless, bottomless', I went inside and there was nobody there!
- One day as I came home early, I saw a man jogging naked. I said to the guy, 'Hey, buddy, why are you doing that?'…
- Once when I was lost I asked a policeman to help me find my parents. I said to him, 'Do you think we'll ever find…
- I have tried a little kinky stuff. A woman called me and said, 'I have mirrors all over my bedroom. Bring a bottle.' I brought…
- My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
- A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.
- I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.
- Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'
- I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
- With me, nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Now, we'll never see each other!
- My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her…
- My psychiatrist told me I'm going crazy. I told him .... If you don't mind I'd like a second opinion. He said .... Alright.... you're…
- One woman I was dating called and said, 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.
- I told my psychiatrist everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous; everyone hasn't met me yet
More Said Quotes
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- If I were to say, 'God, why me?' about the bad things, then I should have said, 'God, why me?' about the… — Arthur Ashe
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- My mother always said I must be part Mongolian because of my lotus-pale complexion and squid-ink black hair. — Diane Ackerman
- I came to the conclusion months ago, and I said it to members of Congress, that the only way people are going… — David Axelrod
- I have a master plan as an artist. I've always said I'm not going to be punching nobody's clock. I will work… — Erykah Badu
- Few expected very much of Franklin Roosevelt on Inauguration Day in 1933. Like Barack Obama seventy-six years later, he was succeeding a… — Russell Baker
- I was in college in Washington, D.C. I did three years full-time. I did all my requirements, and my senior year was… — Alec Baldwin
- American history is longer, larger, more various, more beautiful, and more terrible than anything anyone has ever said about it. — James A. Baldwin
- All of the muscles were gone, so that was a real tough time of rebuilding all of that. But you have a… — Christian Bale