« All One Quotes · Jay Leno's Page
One Quotes by Jay Leno
- As we head to war with Iraq, President Bush wants to make one thing clear: This war is not about oil. It's about gasoline.
- You know what they say when a supermodel gets pregnant? Now she's eating for one.
- Republicans are calling the Bush-Cheney ticket the 'Wizard of Oz' ticket. One needs a heart and the other needs a brain.
- The report on climate change said that humans are very likely making the planet warmer. To which Hillary Clinton said, 'Hey, can't blame me for…
- According to Time magazine, global warming is 33% worse than we thought. You know what that means? Al Gore is one-third more annoying than we…
- If I have one advantage, it's that I will try to work harder than the next guy.
- San Francisco hosted the first medical marijuana job fair. The keynote speech was titled, 'Jobs and How to Avoid Getting One.'
- A new poll shows that Americans now believe that Bill Clinton is more honest than President Bush. At least when Clinton screwed the nation, he…
- One of President Obama's winning points last night was about how sanctions against Iran are crippling their economy. And believe me, if anyone knows how…
- In an interview with Univision, President Obama said if there's one thing he's learned, it's that you can't change Washington from within. So what is…
- I saw something stupid in the paper today. A new alarm clock that makes no noise. It's for people who don't like loud noises. Instead,…
- One of the interpreters hired by CBS for the Dan Rather/Saddam Hussein interview adopted a phony Arabic accent. You know, maybe CBS should have hired…
- L.A.'s large convenience stores are so big they can accommodate up to twenty armed robbers at one time.
- The reigning Miss Canada has been arrested for punching out another woman in a bar fight.Quite frankly, I think it's refreshing to finally find one…
- Twenty-one years ago today Saddam Hussein was first elected president of Iraq and he has been re-elected ever since. Apparently they have the same electoral…
- The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.
- More coming out about Saddam Hussein. We now know he takes Viagra and he has as many as six mistresses. No wonder Congress is reluctant…
- Today, one year after their divorce, Pamela and Tommy Lee announced they're getting back together. You know what that means? There's still hope for Ike…
- With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat…
- Bob Dole revealed he is one of the test subjects for Viagra. He said on Larry King, 'I wish I had bought stock in it.'…
- Here at work, obviously, I make the most money of anyone on the show, so I try to be the first one here and the…
- The New England Jornal of Medicine reports that nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
- They always say the Miss America Pageant isn`t a beauty contest, it`s really a scholarship program. If that`s the case, why don`t we just put…
- I'm going to be going to a secluded spot where no one can find me - NBC prime time.
More One Quotes
- In order to go on living one must try to escape the death involved in perfectionism. — Hannah Arendt
- Power and violence are opposites; where the one rules absolutely, the other is absent. Violence appears where power is in jeopardy, but… — Hannah Arendt
- Poets are the only people to whom love is not only a crucial, but an indispensable experience, which entitles them to mistake… — Hannah Arendt
- Economic growth may one day turn out to be a curse rather than a good, and under no conditions can it either… — Hannah Arendt
- To be free in an age like ours, one must be in a position of authority. That in itself would be enough… — Hannah Arendt
- No cause is left but the most ancient of all, the one, in fact, that from the beginning of our history has… — Hannah Arendt
- The defiance of established authority, religious and secular, social and political, as a world-wide phenomenon may well one day be accounted the… — Hannah Arendt
- Where all are guilty, no one is; confessions of collective guilt are the best possible safeguard against the discovery of culprits, and… — Hannah Arendt
- I find that it's hard to fully examine one's life and not have faith be part of the discussion. — J. J. Abrams
- The most perfect political community is one in which the middle class is in control, and outnumbers both of the other classes. — Aristotle
- All human actions have one or more of these seven causes: chance, nature, compulsions, habit, reason, passion, desire. — Aristotle
- Jealousy is both reasonable and belongs to reasonable men, while envy is base and belongs to the base, for the one makes… — Aristotle