My Ironing Quotes by Phyllis Diller

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Phyllis Diller has 132 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:

• It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to…
• When you play spin the bottle, if they don't want to kiss you they have to give you a quarter. Well, hell,…
• I don't know how you feel about old age... but in my case I didn't even see it coming. It hit me…
• We have far too many kids. At one time in the playpen there was standing-room only. It looked like a bus stop…
• The reason I'm not an alcoholic is I don't like to drink in front of the kids . . . and when…
• Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me.
• Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.
• I am constantly being asked about individuals. The only way to win is as a team. Football is not about one or…
• I don’t want to sound like I’m on dope, but that hour is a high; it’s as good as you can feel.…
• Keep at least one window pane clean to check the weather. Once when I didn't do this I sent the kids off…
• If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door greet him with, 'Who could have done this?…
• A terrible thing happened to me last night again—nothing.

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