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Mitch Hedberg has 172 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:

• I saw a product on late night tv. It said, you can water your hard-to-reach plants with this product. Who the fuck…
• Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only one you can get yelled at for having. Goddamn it Otto, you are an…
• I hate turkeys. If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad at…
• I went to a restaurant, and I saw a guy wearing a leather jacket, eating a hamburger, drinking a glass of milk.…
• So, I sit at the hotel at night and I think of something that's funny. Or, If the pen is too far…
• At my hotel room, my friend came over and asked to use the phone. I said Certainly. He said Do I need…
• I have an underwater camera just in case I crash my car into a river, and at the last minute I see…
• Sometimes I wake up and I think I should start wearing a beret, but I don't do it. One day I'm gonna,…

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