« All Jokes Quotes · Henny Youngman's Page
Jokes Quotes by Henny Youngman
- I had a nightmare last night. I dreamed Dolly Parton was my mother and I was a bottle baby.
- I'm offended by political jokes. Too often they get elected.
- When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays.
More Jokes Quotes
- Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. — Aristotle
- The gods too are fond of a joke. — Aristotle
- If I can't face my accusers, that's a joke. We did that in medieval times. — Lance Armstrong
- If equal affection cannot be, let the more loving be me. — Wystan Hugh Auden
- I'm not Mr. Debonair Suave. I'm just a regular boy who goofs around, pulls pranks, and makes jokes. That doesn't sound very… — Jensen Ackles
- As the old joke goes, I have all the sins together. I am a woman, a Socialist, separated and agnostic. — Michelle Bachelet
- The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on. — Ronnie Barker
- I try to do women's-point-of-view comedy. The joke is, 'This is what I think; there's the truth.' I try to think of… — Roseanne Barr
- I was raised on government cheese. As an adult, in my first marriage, my husband and I worked real hard just to… — Roseanne Barr
- Every man who is high up likes to think he has done it all himself; and the wife smiles, and lets it… — James M. Barrie
- In life there are always these things happening if you can just get the joke. — Lynda Barry
- Your own mind is a sacred enclosure into which nothing harmful can enter except by your permission. — Arnold Bennett