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Two Quotes by Henny Youngman
- A baby-sitter is a teenager who gets two dollars an hour to eat five dollars' worth of your food.
- Americans are getting stronger. Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries. Today, a five-year-old can do it.
- Two kangaroos were talking to each other, and one said, 'I hope it doesn't rain today. I hate it when the children play inside.
- Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner,…
- I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
- While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
- A Jewish woman had two chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup out of the other one to help the sick one…
- Those two are a fastidious couple. She's fast and he's hideous.
More Two Quotes
- I'd take precision any day over power; as far as being tactical you know you have to see what's going on in… — Alexis Arguello
- Your lost friends are not dead, but gone before, advanced a stage or two upon that road which you must travel in… — Aristophanes
- Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. — Aristotle
- Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies. — Aristotle
- Two things scare me. The first is getting hurt. But that's not nearly as scary as the second, which is losing. — Lance Armstrong
- A system is in equilibrium when the forces constituting it are arranged in such a way as to compensate each other, like… — Rudolf Arnheim
- I'm sure most of us remember being a kid and you have all of this endless time where two weeks before Christmas… — Andrea Arnold
- If my forgeries looked as bad as the CBS documents, it would have been 'Catch Me In Two Days'. — Frank Abagnale