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He Quotes by Henny Youngman
- I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
- When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays.
- This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.
- A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another six months.
- My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself.
- I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it,…
- Those two are a fastidious couple. She's fast and he's hideous.
More He Quotes
- The chief qualification of a mass leader has become unending infallibility; he can never admit an error. — Hannah Arendt
- Man cannot be free if he does not know that he is subject to necessity, because his freedom is always won in… — Hannah Arendt
- Whenever a toddler sees a pile of blocks, he wants to tear it down. — J. J. Abrams
- Let each man exercise the art he knows. — Aristophanes
- A man's homeland is wherever he prospers. — Aristophanes
- At his best, man is the noblest of all animals; separated from law and justice he is the worst. — Aristotle
- He who hath many friends hath none. — Aristotle
- A tyrant must put on the appearance of uncommon devotion to religion. Subjects are less apprehensive of illegal treatment from a ruler… — Aristotle
- He who is to be a good ruler must have first been ruled. — Aristotle
- Without friends no one would choose to live, though he had all other goods. — Aristotle
- No one loves the man whom he fears. — Aristotle
- He who can be, and therefore is, another's, and he who participates in reason enough to apprehend, but not to have, is… — Aristotle