Joke Quotes

1327 quotes by 1003 authors

One nice thing about telling a clean joke is there's a good chance no one's heard it before. — Doug Larson
The repeat run of Fawlty Towers drew bigger audiences than ever and deservedly so. Statistical surveys reveal that only the television critic of The Spectator… — Clive James
I always thought of Levittown as a joke. — Bill Griffith
You learn to kid around and joke and not take things too seriously because somehow its all gonna work out for the best - or… — Jack Youngblood
We're weird guys. I don't know if a lot of people get our humor. A lot of people probably think we're jerks. We're real sarcastic.… — Brendon Urie
Mainstream people dislike homosexuality because they can't help concentrating on what homosexual men do to one another. And when you contemplate what people do, you… — Quentin Crisp
He who does not understand a joke, he does not understand Danish. — Georg Brandes
The only rule was that the stuff had to be funny and pretty short. To me, the quintessential Army Man joke was one of John… — George Meyer
Iâ€™ve never taken time off from being an actor. This is the kind of career Iâ€™d be so happy to do until I die. I… — Ansel Elgort
At MakerBot, we joke that if we were engineers we would still be on our first prototype. There's something about just 'Doing itâ€iteration is a… — Bre Pettis
Jim Pagliaroni joined the club tonight and is going to be a welcome addition. He was describing a girl that one of the ballplayers had… — Jim Bouton
I get just as much of a thrill out of constructing a good sentence that gets a laugh at the end as I do from… — Julian Clary
There is no such thing as an appropriate joke. That's why it's a joke. — Michael Scott
Laughter is the only tenable attitude in a universe which is a joke played on itself. — Peter J. Carroll
My comedy notebooks are filled with random journal entries. It's all the same. I can look back on old joke notebooks, and know exactly what… — Sarah
I'm not sure if I'm depressed. I mean, I'm not exactly sad. But I'm not exactly happy either. I can laugh and joke and smile… — John Green
Being broke is a joke, I never found it funny / Thatâ€™s why I count my blessings / As much as I count my money... — Fabolous
Cooking allows you to have travels, adventures and journeys without going anywhere. The running joke between my partner and me is that I'm not really… — Ted Allen
Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the meal seriously. — Woody Allen
I can never tell a joke, I've always found it easier to just fall over. — Norman Wisdom

Who Wrote These Joke Quotes

1,003 authors contributed a total of 1,327 Joke Quotes, led by these top contributors: