Joke Quotes

1327 quotes by 1003 authors

Everyone is a comedy. If people are laughing at you, they just don't quite understand the joke that is themselves. — Matt Haig
I used to joke for years that I was a black man. I adopted the black culture, the black race. I married a black woman,… — Tommy Chong
I have been so very, very fortunate in my life. I've met or been in contact with several of my childhood heroes. I've interacted with… — Wayne Gerard Trotman
The English had hit upon a splendid joke. They intended to catch me or to bring me down. — Manfred von Richthofen
Every moment of life is unique-a kiss, a sunset, a dance, a joke. None will ever recur in quite the same way. Each happens only… — Stephen Nachmanovitch
Most of us have participated in the trust exercise in which one person falls back and is caught by a peer. Even if the catch… — Rafe Esquith
I sometimes joke that when I die, my tombstone will say, 'Here lies the guy who hired Jonathan Ive,' — Robert Brunner
Joke I read somewhere: They say that God is the innermost dweller of all. Well I hope He likes enchiladas - cause that's what He's… — Meher Baba
Crusaders have just f-ked me over what a bas-rd joke, excuse my language I'm absolutely furious. — Keith Senior
My brother has ADD, which is weird because he drives a Ford Focus. I told my brother that joke but he didn't laugh because he… — Zach Galifianakis
'Where's Bill going?' He's going to comedy death. Boom! He pops out of it with another joke. It's my particular style. — Bill Hicks
We used to joke about canned men, putting people in a can and seeing how far you can send them and bring them back. That's… — John Glenn
I always make this joke that I know you were expecting to see the big skirts and the hoops. But that was a long time… — Jody Watley
Well, I mean, if a joke or humor is bawdy, it's got to be funny enough to warrant it. You can't just have it bawdy… — Betty White
My joke, which isn't really a joke, is that there will be one of two tours: the tour for the album that does well, or… — Richard Marx
A few years ago we said, 'Hail Guru Ram Das and heal the world.' It looked like a joke at that time. Heal with what?… — Harbhajan Singh Yogi
Never put a razor inside your nose - even as a joke. — Jake Johannsen
Growing up the son of a director has made me very aware of the various turns that a directing career can take. Sometimes your films… — Jason Reitman
I love funny people, and when I'm with funny people, or people who are amusing in their weirdness, I love it. Because that to me… — Paul Feig
These two are the parts. The inner silence - the silence so deep that there is no vibration in your being. You are, but there… — Rajneesh

Who Wrote These Joke Quotes

1,003 authors contributed a total of 1,327 Joke Quotes, led by these top contributors: