Joke Quotes

1327 quotes by 1003 authors

I've always felt that animals are the purest spirits in the world. They don't fake or hide their feelings, and they are the most loyal… — Unknown Author
I do find myself surprised by the comedy shows that seem to have the same joke week in week out. — Clive Anderson
And I liked pluralist Australia. I got a taste for pluralist Australia. I like, I like Australians and I can't believe that they're going to… — Thomas Keneally
I think repeating yourself is a sign of old age, telling the same joke again and again. Especially if they're jokes that don't make people… — Simon Le Bon
It is natural that people do not want to be involved with us too much. There is no problem down to the smallest egotistical longing… — Unknown Author
Itâ€™s a basic rule of humor that a joke is always at somebodyâ€™s expense. Really good jokes, however, tend to be at everyoneâ€™s expense. — Richard Kalvar
Sometimes my colleagues joke and call me Hannah. — Hanoi Hannah
Bettman is an asshole. A frikkin asshole. I think he's ruined the game of hockey. He's supposed to be impartial. He's supposed to speak for… — Bob Probert
All human populations are in some sense immigrants. All hostility between different cultures in one place has an aspect of the classic immigrant grudge against… — Neal Ascherson
I think we're the only jokeless show on television. I mean really, we have no setups and no punch lines. It's not a joke show.… — Rainn Wilson
One time when somebody showed up in a wedding dress, but I never knew if it was a joke, or she was serious. She asked… — Bryan White
Gracious dying is a huge, macabre and expensive joke on the American public. — Jessica Mitford
Challenging someone is good. You need to do it. Sometimes they don't even realize you're doing it, like when you joke with a goalie, 'What's… — Sidney Crosby
The world is a very serious and, at times, very sad place - but at other times it is all such a joke. — George Harrison
The whole westward expansion myth is seen as romantic. But its a joke, a blot on American history. — Frank Waters
It's a cosmic joke that I'm a lesbian, because I understand men so well but women are a complete mystery to me. — Lea DeLaria
The next best thing to a very good joke is a very bad one. — Julius Charles Hare
In your thirties, you're much more comfortable with sex. First of all, sex is something you've done more. You know you can have sex just… — Julie Delpy
Some people know that they are so adorable looking, all they have to do is smile and dress up and they get plenty from that.… — Merrill Markoe
A Swedish newspaper reporter called and said, You've been awarded the Prize. I was quite sure it was a practical joke. — Joshua Lederberg

Who Wrote These Joke Quotes

1,003 authors contributed a total of 1,327 Joke Quotes, led by these top contributors: