Joke Quotes

1327 quotes by 1003 authors

When a kid can understand that a word can mean two things, there's some real thinking going on. They have a vested interest in finding… — Brian P. Cleary
You want a story? Read 'Gone With the Wind'. These aren't stories. They're joke books. The whole thing of a beginning, a middle and an… — Brian P. Cleary
Kids enjoy laughing and are seldom bored when they find something funny. They also ask questions, often to adults, because they understand that the more… — Brian P. Cleary
If I can enjoy a joke at the expense of another; if I can in any way slight another in conversation, or even in thought,… — Amy Carmichael
I think you actually get a kick out of being disappointed and under-achieving, because it's easier, isn't it? Failure and unhappiness is easier because you… — David Nicholls
Think for yourself, and believe in yourself. Keep your skeptical antennae tuned in and in good working order at all times. We are free to… — Dennis McKenna
I love a stupid joke, something that doesn't make any sense. — Chelsea Handler
I still have access to enough money to live on in order to avoid bankruptcy for at least a few years as long as I… — Patrick Stump
Those who do not have power over the story that dominates their lives, power to retell it, to rethink it, deconstruct it, joke about it,… — Salman Rushdie
U.S. soldiers, with whom I now have more than a passing acquaintance, joke that they track my movements in order to know where they will… — Christiane Amanpour
But today, I feel the genuine warmth, the affection, and although I may joke about it, I am touched. — Perry Como
My music has a high irritation factor. I`ve always tried to say something. Eccentric lyrics about eccentric people. Often it was is joke. But I… — Randy Newman
It's a joke. Greed and the desire to take drugs are two separate things. If you want to separate the two, the thing you do… — Jerry Garcia
Modern Christians, especially those in the Western world, have generally been found wanting in the area of holiness of body. Gluttony and laziness, for example,… — Jerry Bridges
I don't play the sport for fame. I don't try to win tournaments for fame. I don't do any of that. It's just me. I'm… — Bubba Watson
The why is what makes journalism an adult game. The why is what makes policy coherent and useful. The why is what transforms bureaucrats and… — David Simon
The moment you think of a joke is the best moment. — Judd Apatow
There has to be irony, both in design and in the objects. I see around me a professional disease of taking everything too seriously. One… — Achille Castiglioni
One of my secrets is to joke all the time. — Achille Castiglioni
That name was a kind of joke, and not a very good one. An author, Leon Lederman, wanted to call it 'that goddamn particle' because… — Peter Higgs

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1,003 authors contributed a total of 1,327 Joke Quotes, led by these top contributors: