Joke Quotes

1327 quotes by 1003 authors

Vicodin, I got addicted to that little pill. The reason I dont talk about it too much in the press is because it isnt funny,… — Matthew Perry
I am a super-confident writer, and as a joke writer and as an actress, I'm like, 'I want to go head-to-head with every person.' I… — Mindy Kaling
Comedy is just to me, maybe it's a natural knack, if I can see where the joke is in the writing and I can see… — Matt LeBlanc
I've made a lot of grown men cry with laughter, because I really am quite the joke. — Peta Wilson
Oh definitely. It'll be in a hot tub, with my entire head squeezed into a jet. The photos are going to be hilarious. Man, I… — Jason Sudeikis
You have to struggle a bit, hustle a little, and be willing to go bankrupt. Once you're willing to do that, everything opens up and… — Nick Nolte
I cannot tell a joke. But I can do a situation, that it becomes a joke. — Don Rickles
I was making my living from a joke about my appearance that I didn't understand, and in a way still don't, because when I look… — Wallace Shawn
It's easier not to make a particular joke in case it offends. But every joke will offend someone, and I've always believed that the audience… — David Walliams
I had my electricity turned off three times because I never had time to pay my bills. It was a joke. I'm making a ton… — Sherry Stringfield
I can't tell a joke to save my soul. It's just not my thing, though I love to listen to jokes. — Carol Burnett
It's a lot easier, I think, to be an actor in a movie than to spin a joke on a sitcom. — Nicole Sullivan
It's so easy to judge everybody and for some reason extra weight is the one thing everything feels OK to joke about. — Caroline Rhea
If you keep up with pop culture, everybody knows the joke. — Shawn Wayans
The surprising thing is that I was not funny in high school. I was always jealous of the funny kids because they always got the… — Sean William Scott
I'm not good at telling a joke, but I can say a line in a certain way that makes people uncomfortable because they don't know… — Walton Goggins
Beijing residents joke that to get a free smoke all they have to do is open their windows! — Lee Hsien Loong
There's nothing the people love more than a Federal Reserve joke. — Adam McKay
Mothers, take time to be a real friend to your children. Listen to your children, really listen. Talk with them, laugh and joke with them,… — Ezra Taft Benson
I think it's really important to be kind, especially to people whose lives are grim - I try hard to cheer people up in as… — Jo Brand

Who Wrote These Joke Quotes

1,003 authors contributed a total of 1,327 Joke Quotes, led by these top contributors: