« All Jesus Quotes · George Carlin's Page
Jesus Quotes by George Carlin
- If Helen Keller had psychic ability, would you say she had a fourth sense? What year did Jesus think it was?
- Bowling is not a sport because you have to rent the shoes. When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? This title offends all three major…
- There's some invisible guy, up in the sky, who can kill you, because he loves you.
- Jesus was a cross-dresser.
- I finally accepted Jesus. not as my personal savior, but as a man I intend to borrow money from.
- And what can we do to silence these Christian athletes who thank Jesus whenever they win, never mention his name when they lose? Not a…
- Did you ever stop to thnk about all the people we kill? They're always people who tell us to live together in harmony and try…
- What year did Jesus think it was?
More Jesus Quotes
- Jesus did not spend a great deal of time discoursing about the trinity or original sin or the incarnation, which have preoccupied… — Karen Armstrong
- What value is there in faith without works? And what are they worth if they are not united to the merits of… — Teresa of Avila
- If Christ Jesus dwells in a man as his friend and noble leader, that man can endure all things, for Christ helps… — Teresa of Avila
- Those who give themselves to prayer should in a special manner have always a devotion to St. Joseph; for I know not… — Teresa of Avila
- Let us consider the glorious Saint Paul: it seems that no other name fell from his lips than that of Jesus, because… — Teresa of Avila
- You know what I'm doing starting 1st November? Jesus Christ Superstar. — Sebastian Bach
- The world defines 'waste' very differently than Jesus does. — Michele Bachmann
- Jesus isn't a logo, I'm not promoting some company, some brand. I'm just professing my faith. — Stephen Baldwin
- Loving Jesus is what's most important to me. I know it sounds hokey, but it's the truth. — Stephen Baldwin
- Whoever removes the Cross and its interpretation by the New Testament from the center, in order to replace it, for example, with… — Hans Urs von Balthasar
- If a man fights his way through his doubts to the conviction that Jesus Christ is Lord, he has attained to a… — William Barclay
- Jesus does not give recipes that show the way to God as other teachers of religion do. He is himself the way. — Karl Barth