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Into Quotes by Jack Handey
- MEMORIES OF MY FAMILY MEETINGS still are a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all get into the car - I forget what…
- Love is not something that you can put chains on and throw into a lake. That's called Houdini. Love is liking someone a lot.
- Fear can sometimes be a useful emotion. For instance, let's say you're an astronaut on the moon and you fear that your partner has been…
- Sometimes when I'm driving behind a big cement truck, I think of how the valve on the truck could suddenly open, spilling cement over my…
- If you're at a Thanksgiving dinner, but you don't like the stuffing or the cranberry sauce or anything else, just pretend like you're eating it,…
- If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let go, because, they're gone, man. They're gone.
- I think a good way to get into a movie is to show up where they're making the movie, then stick a big cactus plant…
- I think the best Thanksgiving we ever had was one where we didn't even have a turkey. Mom and Dad sat us kids down and…
- It seemed to me that, somehow, the blue jay was trying to communicate with me. I would see him fly into the house across the…
- If you go flying back through time, and you see somebody else flying forward into the future, it's probably best to avoid eye contact.
- What is it that makes a complete stranger dive into an icy river to save a solid-gold baby? Maybe we'll never know.
- If you think a weakness can be turned into a strength, I hate to tell you this, but that's another weakness.
- The sound of fresh rain run-off splashing from the roof reminded me of the sound of urine splashing into a filthy Texaco latrine.
- To me, truth is not some vague, foggy notion. Truth is real. And, at the same time, unreal. Fiction and fact and everything in between,…
- A good way to keep a mob of peasants from killing your monster is when they break into your castle, make them be real quiet,…
- I wish I could shrink down to the size of an ant. And maybe there would be thousands of other people shrunken down to ant-size,…
- As I bit into the nectarine, it had a crisp juiciness about it that was very pleasurable-until I realized it wasn't a nectarine at all,…
- I can see why it would be prohibited to throw most things off the top of the Empire State Building, but what's wrong with little…
- If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid seeing yourself in the mirror, because I bet that's what REALLY throws you into a panic.
- If I was a cowboy in a lynch mob, I think I'd try to stay near the back. That way, if somebody shamed us into…
More Into Quotes
- Economic growth may one day turn out to be a curse rather than a good, and under no conditions can it either… — Hannah Arendt
- Boxing gave me the opportunities to grow into the person that I am today. — Alexis Arguello
- Republics decline into democracies and democracies degenerate into despotisms. — Aristotle
- The state comes into existence for the sake of life and continues to exist for the sake of good life. — Aristotle
- A sense is what has the power of receiving into itself the sensible forms of things without the matter, in the way… — Aristotle
- I was always interested in French poetry sort of as a sideline to my own work, I was translating contemporary French poets.… — Paul Auster
- To bring anything into your life, imagine that it's already there. — Richard Bach
- It's actually amazing because you go so far into another side of your brain when you're studying something completely different, and I… — Dido Armstrong