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Had Quotes by Steven Wright
- I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.
- When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually.
- I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.
- When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, 'Well, what do you need?'
- I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.
- If you had a million Shakespeares, could they write like a monkey?
- I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums.
- If I ever had twins, I'd use one for parts.
- One day a guy tried to rob me on the street, and I had no money. So I charged him.
- When I was 16... I worked in a pet store. And they fired me because... they had three snakes in there, and one day I…
- I've always had to conquer fear when I'm on stage. Basically, I was and still am a very shy person. It's absolutely in conflict with…
- I feel very lucky to make a living from my imagination; I'm very grateful for that. I like that what I do is create. I'm…
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