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Funny Quotes by Zach Galifianakis
- I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort.
- When I was in high school I used to sit by myself in the cafeteria - not necessarily by choice - but I thought it…
- Did you ever wake up with an erection...and find yourself in a massage chair at Brookstone? And you yell to the sales clerk "I'll take…
- I think those neighborhood signs that say 'slow children playing' are mean.
- I dream of starting a three-man country trio called the Chixie Dicks.
- I call my balls the bush twins.
- My brother has ADD, which is weird because he drives a Ford Focus. I told my brother that joke but he didn't laugh because he…
- I am going to be the next Ryan Gosling.
- I haven't been hit since Leon Spinks hit me in '92.
- We all know how funny Morrissey is. Actually, you know what? I say that sarcastically. His songs are some of the funniest songs I've ever…
- Inappropriateness is funny to me. Rudeness is hilarious.
- I think if they put a laugh track on 'Intervention,' it would be funny.
- At what age do you think it's appropriate to tell a highway it's adopted?
- I dream of moving to India, or Pakistan, and becoming a cabdriver.
- You know you have a drinking problem when the bartender knows your name -- and you've never been to that bar before.
- My brother was torturous, I guess, but in a funny way. He used to say to me, 'I'm giving you a gag order,' then stuff…
More Funny Quotes
- To be free in an age like ours, one must be in a position of authority. That in itself would be enough… — Hannah Arendt
- These are the fifties, you know. The disgusting, posturing fifties. — Hannah Arendt
- I'm literally open to any medium that will have me. — J. J. Abrams
- We must all make peace so that we can all live in peace. — Jean-Bertrand Aristide
- Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. — Aristotle
- There is no great genius without a mixture of madness. — Aristotle
- I hope to make movies that are so small they don't need to make anything to be profitable. — J. J. Abrams
- I love recording music. — J. J. Abrams
- Hope is the dream of a waking man. — Aristotle
- Education is the best provision for old age. — Aristotle
- I've had the same friends since I was in kindergarten. — J. J. Abrams
- I also have this incredible love for women. — Kevyn Aucoin