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Funny Quotes by Doug Stanhope
- Everything that is going to kill you is extremely appetizing.
- There's no such thing as addiction, there's only things that you enjoy doing more than life.
- That place is so behind the times, you can't even get AIDS there yet.
- Sex is a very narrow avenue. You only have so many holes and parts, and eventually, you run out of things to do.
- Babies are like poems. They're beautiful to their creator, but to other people, they're silly and they're irritating.
- Doing stand-up takes the fun out of being funny.
- The Internet has done nothing but good for comedy all around. Comedians no longer have to rely on TV execs and club owners deciding if…
More Funny Quotes
- To be free in an age like ours, one must be in a position of authority. That in itself would be enough… — Hannah Arendt
- These are the fifties, you know. The disgusting, posturing fifties. — Hannah Arendt
- I'm literally open to any medium that will have me. — J. J. Abrams
- We must all make peace so that we can all live in peace. — Jean-Bertrand Aristide
- Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. — Aristotle
- There is no great genius without a mixture of madness. — Aristotle
- I hope to make movies that are so small they don't need to make anything to be profitable. — J. J. Abrams
- I love recording music. — J. J. Abrams
- Hope is the dream of a waking man. — Aristotle
- Education is the best provision for old age. — Aristotle
- I've had the same friends since I was in kindergarten. — J. J. Abrams
- I also have this incredible love for women. — Kevyn Aucoin