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Did Quotes by Steven Wright
- When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes.'
- I like George Carlin's jokes. I like his humor. He's one of my heroes, and I like what he did with talking about everyday things.
- I love eating chocolate cake and ice cream after a show. I almost justify it in my mind as, 'You were a good boy onstage…
- When I was a kid, I never did funny things to get attention. I was never a funny person. I was never, like, 'Oh, wow.…
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- Genealogy, n. An account of one's descent from a man who did not particularly care to trace his own. — Ambrose Bierce
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