« All Computer Quotes · Dave Barry's Page
Computer Quotes by Dave Barry
- The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.
- The Internet: transforming society and shaping the future through chat.
- I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer.
- To better understand why you need a personal computer, let's take a look at the pathetic mess you call your life.
- Today's toys contain computer chips, so they can move and talk; this stimulates the mind of your child. Notice I say "your child." MY child…
- Buying the right computer and getting it to work properly is no more complicated than building a nuclear reactor from wristwatch parts in a darkened…
- Computers are getting smarter all the time. Scientists tell us that soon they will be able to talk to us. (And by 'they', I mean…
- The Internet is a giant international network of intelligent, informed computer enthusiasts, by which I mean, "people without lives." We don't care. We have each…
- Back then, the entire Internet consisted of two slow, boxcar-sized UNIVAC computers about 50 feet apart, connected by a wire. It would take one of…
- The obvious and fair solution to the housework problem is to let men do the housework for, say, the next six thousand years, to even…
- Without computers, the government would be unable to function at the level of effectiveness and efficiency that we have come to expect. . . .…
- Hardware: This is the part of the computer that stops working when you spill beer on it.
- Software: These programs give instruction to the CPU, which processes billions of tiny facts called bytes, and within a fraction of a second it sends…
- Megahertz: This is really, really big hertz.
- RAM: This gives guys a way of deciding whose computer has the biggest, studliest memory. That's important, because the more memory a computer has, the…
- The Internet "browser"... is the piece of software that puts a message on your computer screen informing you that the Internet is currently busy and…
- What, exactly, is the internet? Basically it is a global network exchanging digitized data in such a way that any computer, anywhere, that is equipped…
- The Internet is a giant international network of intelligent, informed computer enthusiasts, by which I mean, "people without lives." We don't care. We have each…
- One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks to a computer microchip, can actually travel ahead in time…
- Spreadsheet: a kind of program that lets you sit at your desk and ask all kinds of neat "what if?" questions and generate thousands of…
More Computer Quotes
- All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are… — Isaac Asimov
- A lot of these kids I think are more content just to be on Facebook and the computer than they are to… — Dave Attell
- Software is like entropy. It is difficult to grasp, weighs nothing, and obeys the second law of thermodynamics; i.e. it always increases. — Norman Ralph Augustine
- A wonderful thing about a book, in contrast to a computer screen, is that you can take it to bed with you. — Daniel J. Boorstin
- 'You've got mail!' exclaims the cheery automaton at America Online. The flag on the mailbox icon waves invitingly on my computer screen.… — Geraldine Brooks
- I think we're in an age where artists really have an incredible range of materials at their command now. They can use… — Bill Viola
- I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them. — Isaac Asimov
- One of the most feared expressions in modern times is 'The computer is down.' — Norman Ralph Augustine