"Hardware: This is the part of the computer……" — Dave Barry

"Hardware: This is the part of the computer that stops working when you spill beer on it."

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508 Quotes by Dave Barry

Dave Barry has 508 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.
Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.
Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.
Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the…
The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management…
'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'.
The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look…
We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it, but we cannot figure out…
The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.
The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.
Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who remembers…
Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only…

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More Beer Quotes

This quote is filed under Beer Quotes, one of 1,136 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:

High thoughts must have high language. — Aristophanes
Some books are undeservedly forgotten; none are undeservedly remembered. — Wystan Hugh Auden
A drink a day keeps the shrink away. — Edward Abbey
A guy is a lump like a doughnut. So, first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom… — Roseanne Barr
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to… — Dave Barry
You can only be young once. But you can always be immature. — Dave Barry
What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death. — Dave Barry
What may seem depressing or even tragic to one person may seem like an absolute scream to another person, especially… — Dave Barry
Where is human nature so weak as in the bookstore? — Henry Ward Beecher
I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger,… — Brendan Behan
Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing. — Robert Benchley
I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry. — Robert Benchley

See all 1,136 Beer Quotes »